Crimson
by burningdarkfire
Summary: Will Kurogane ever settle down in Nihon again? Does he ever lose sight of true strength? Set post-epilogue. Runs in parallel with Sapphire. KuroFai, eventually
1. Running From Nostalgia

**A/N** - This story runs in parallel with my other Tsubasa fanfic, _Sapphire_. _Crimson_ is told in Kurogane's POV, while _Sapphire_ is told from Fai's POV. This is set post-epilogue, because it killed me to have all the characters head off to another journey and not know what happens to Fai _-insert fangirl squeal at mention of Fai's name- _, so here we are! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 1 - Running From Nostalgia

"Goodbye!" Fai called out as the group headed out of the village. "Thanks for everything!" Syaoran added his thanks as well while Mokona waved its stubby little arms enthusiastically. Kurogane simply grunted in acknowledgement and shifted impatiently as he waited for them to be off.

The townspeople waved and let loose their last farewells as the three travelers and the strange white creature headed out of town and into the forest.

"Mokona is sad to see them go!" it announced as the small settlement faded from view behind them. "They were all nice to Mokona and they had yummy food!"

"Hai," Syaoran agreed. "They were pleasant people. I am sorry to make you leave, Mokona."

"Mokona doesn't mind going with Syaoran!" The magical white thing trilled. "Mokona loves seeing all the worlds!"

"But still," Syaoran bowed his head as they walked. "This is my payment alone for me to make, and I regret keeping you from your homes. I know what I'm searching for may not even exist, but I can still hope."

"Nonsense," Kurogane growled. "It was our choice to come along with you. Now stop your moping and let's just move on."

"Besides, Syaoran-kun, I don't have a home to go back to, remember?" Fai reminded him.

Kurogane cast the mage a sharp glance, but to his relief there was no fake smile plastered onto his face. Without it, it seemed like one could almost drown in the sorrow in his sapphire eyes when he thought of Valeria and Celes, his two icy countries. Kurogane was not entirely sure he approved of the naked sadness in his companion's eyes, but at least he wasn't acting anymore. That was something, right?

Syaoran babbled apologies for being insensitive; Fai waved him off; Mokona bounced along; and Kurogane tilted his head back to observe the clear midmorning sky.

How many times had he walked under the same blue, blue sky, on another journey, in what felt like almost another lifetime? How many times had he wished for a peace like this while he watched over the mage, the kid (or clone, whatever), the princess (again, clone, _whatever_), and even the white manju bun?

_Of course, the answer is never,_ he replied to his own questions sourly. They were in a world they had never visited before, somewhere called Gaelsieq.

"Cheer up Kuro-pu!" Fai, who had evidently taken his own advice, pointed ahead of them to a dark mass rising up from the ground. "Look, the forest is right there! Once we're there, we only need to find some sort of clearing or something for Mokona to work its magic!"

"Remind me why we had to come all the way out here again?" He grumbled. His own nostalgic thoughts had put him in a bad mood.

"It's best not to trouble anyone that we can prevent troubling," Syaoran replied solemnly. "If there happened to be a stray villager out here, who knows what wild tales of magic he might spin back at home if he saw us? This is what's best for everyone."

Kurogane just sped up and plowed forward, determined to get to the next world as quickly as possible, almost as if he hoped to leave behind _his_ memories on this world.

However, he didn't get far before another stray thought crossed his mind.

_I'm turning into the way the idiot used to be,_ he thought disgustedly. _Running away from my problems, even though my problem is something that's completely in my head!_

It was enough to slow him down again. Fai and Syaoran looked at him with concern, but he walked with his eyes glued to the forest. They wisely chose not the press him for information, and the rest of the trek was passed in silence.

* * *

The forest seemed so alive. Animals called out everywhere, from the chirping of songbirds to the – was that barking? Even the vegetation whispered to the winds, their leaves dipping and dancing until they achieved flight at last.

_Too bad that flight comes with death,_ Kurogane thought drily as he watched a tree branch sway. He shook himself irritably. What was with all of these depressed thoughts?

He chose to concentrate on the scene in front of him instead of brooding on the past and on things not yet to come.

The kid knelt before an injured bird he had found, concentrating as he attempted to bind its broken wing.

"Syaoraaaaaaaan!" Mokona called out. The white creature bounced impatiently on Fai's shoulder.

"Would you please stop moving?" Kurogane could feel a headache coming on just from looking at the white manju bun. He turned away in disgust, only to whip his head around when he detected movement.

His timing was perfect. Mokona sailed through the air and landed squarely on Kurogane's face, happily saying at the top of its lungs, "Don't be so grumpy Kuro-pon! We're not in any danger, so you should be happy!"

What Mokona said was true. He had travelled with the idiot, the kid, and the annoying white thing for a month since leaving Clow Country, but had yet to find a need to draw his sword. It seemed without the princess's feathers, there were no major disturbances in any world, although since they had not stayed in any place for longer than a week, it may just been they were lucky enough to avoid any trouble.

Kurogane pried Mokona off with an irritated yell and threw it into the forest. There was an indignant squeak as it landed with a rustle amongst some bushes.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Kuro-tan's being mean to Mokona!" Mokona wailed loudly once it was back on Fai's shoulder. "Fai, save me!"

Kurogane glared at the mage, daring him to say anything. Of course, he could not resist a chance to tease the warrior, glare or no glare.

"Really Kuro-chan, you must take care of your children, not throw them off without even knowing where they're going to land!" The idiot was now prancing around Kurogane, poking him and giggling.

"What if I do know where they're going to land?" Kurogane eyed Fai menacingly. He lunged for the mage, hoping to surprise him (and maybe even catch him for once!).

Mokona, who had been dislodged in Fai's flight, hopped over to Syaoran with fake tears building up in its eyes. "No one loves Mokona!" It cried, clinging onto Syaoran's hair.

"It's alright Mokona, I love you!" Syaoran reassured it as he finished up the last of the binding and plucked Mokona off his head. "I'm done with the bird now, so we can leave. I'm sorry for the wait!"

Kurogane returned in a huff, having once again failed to do any harm to Fai, and was grumpy as they all gathered together, ready to be sucked into Mokona's mouth again.

"You know, this still doesn't feel natural," he grumbled. "I mean, getting eaten all the time by this tiny white thing? Not to mention, its landings are still _terrible_."

Fai slapped Kurogane on the back in a gesture of mock comfort. "Now, now, don't be such a pessimist Daddy! Our children need a good, strong, role model to look up to!"

"What _children_? I see only one child with us" Kurogane spat out, then regretted it when he saw the sadness that crossed all of his companions' faces at the mention of Sakura. He was stuttering out what may have been an apology when Syaoran interrupted.

"It's alright, Kurogane-san," he said gently. "We all miss her, but at least we know she's safe and sound."

Kurogane just nodded gruffly, glad for the quick forgiveness from the kid. He glanced around to see Mokona's mouth pulled down by sorrow and Fai gazing off into the distance. Kurogane frowned. He had thought the mage was over hiding his feelings all the time.

However, he had no time to ponder. Now that Syaoran was done, Mokona spread its wings and prepared to travel onto the new world.

"Puu!" it said happily, the temporary down time forgotten, as it gobbled up its fellow travelers. Its wings folded, its magic circle disappeared, and soon the only sign that the four had been there at all was the bird with a splint around its wing.

* * *

They arrived in an undignified heap.

"I swear, the white manju bun drops me on the bottom every time on purpose," Kurogane's low voice was muffled by the mound of snow his face was pressed into.

"We've arrived in a new world!" Mokona proudly announced from its comfortable perch on Syaoran's head.

"Hyuu, look at the all the snow!" Fai gazed around from Kurogane's back. He clambered to a standing position after a muffled yell from the ninja hinted a painful death if he didn't move.

Kurogane dusted off all the snow and looked around. His gaze passed quickly over his friends (_did he really just think of them as friends?_ he wondered. The word seemed foreign in his thoughts) and determined quickly that they were all unharmed.

Although they were unlikely to remain that way if they stayed out here.

"It's freezing!" Mokona complained as it burrowed into Syaoran's cloak. More snow whirled around them angrily and the wind howled and clawed at their faces.

Fai, in his Celes robes, was the only one who looked remotely comfortable.

And yet, Kurogane prayed that he had imagined the look on Fai's face when he looked into the distance.

* * *

**A/N** - So what did you think? Please leave a review for me, and I'll promise not to let loose Kurogane on you while you sleep, mwahahaha! *ahem* This chapter started out as just fluff, but I am _terrible_ at writing fluff - angsty all the way! As for updating, it'll happen once I have a chapter in both Crimson and Sapphire done (right now, Crimson is on chapter 4, but Sapphire has only made it to chapter 2, hehe). Reviews will of course inspire me to write more!


	2. A Frozen Smile

**Disclaimer** (not that I forgot it last time, or anything -sweatdrops-): I do not own any of the characters belonging to CLAMP and do not seek to make any proft from this fanfic.

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Chapter 2 – A Frozen Smile

Kurogane was functioning solely on the desire to not lose to a _snowstorm_ when Fai finally spotted a town.

He was down to functioning on jealousy of the damn mage for having those clothes when they at last stumbled into the inn and some warmth.

"Excuse me!" Fai called out, with something that sounded almost like concern in his voice.

"Hello! Sorry to keep you waiting!" The innkeeper hurried out from side door and greeted them. "What terrible travelling weather! I assume you'll want rooms?"

The group all nodded their agreement. _After my brain thaws enough to think._

"I'm sorry, but we only have two rooms free now. Would you mind sharing? We're the only inn in town, and the next place you could stay is almost an hour's walk in decent conditions." The short portly man looked anxiously at Kurogane.

_What the hell is he looking at me for?_ Kurogane was now warm enough to complain silently to himself.

"It's alright!" Fai was unreasonably cheerful for someone who had just spent a quarter of an hour outside in weather like that. "I'm sure Big Doggy over here won't mind sharing a room with me! Isn't that right, Kuro-pyon?"

"Of course I mind, you stupid idiot!" Kurogane growled. "Why can't I room with the kid?"

_If he tries something …_ Kurogane eyed Fai suspiciously, although he was still too cold to have regained full control of his limbs.

"Really, Kuro-wanwan, you shouldn't force yourself on somebody! Besides, Kuro-daddy and Fai-mommy should be together!" His voice rose in pitch and volume at the end as he watched Kurogane before pouncing.

"Get … off …!" Kurogane flailed around, trying to dislodge the mage now attached to his front.

As Kurogane spun around the room, he felt Fai tightening his legs and arms, adjusting his grip so that his head lay against Kurogane's chest.

_Well, at least he's warm._

_Please tell me I didn't just think that._

This was going a bit too far. "What are you _doing?_"

Fai grinned lazily. "But isn't it obvious? I'm just showing the world what a cute couple we are!"

_Idiot! Is he ever serious when he doesn't have to be? _Kurogane frowned.

"Ehh … Fai-san? Kurogane-san?" Kurogane was relieved of Fai's weight (not that he weighed much) when Syaoran's voice sounded in the lobby of the inn. "Here's your key …" He trailed off at the sight of Kurogane's glare trained on him (_it wasn't __**that**__ scary, was it?_) and mutely held up a small golden key.

"Thank you so much, Syaoran-kun!" Fai exclaimed. _As if nothing had happened, and we had always been standing here. Tch. _"You and Mokona get a good night's sleep now!" He smiled at both of them and petted Mokona on the head.

Kurogane wandered off to the far wall to gather his thoughts for what would most likely be a long night ahead. _What would be the best way to shut the mage up quickly?_ He wondered, staring at him.

He saw Syaoran nod in assent to something Mokona said and Fai ruffle his hair, then skip towards the stairs

"I still haven't agreed to room with you!" Kurogane roared, knowing it was a battle that had been lost from the start.

* * *

_Of course. Of course, of course, __**of course**__,_ Kurogane thought to himself. Of course the idiot mage would insist that they share a room, while Syaoran and Mokona huddled up in another.

True, they had journeyed together for a whole month with Syaoran after leaving behind Sakura in Clow Country, but while he had become much closer to the idiot since when they first met, Fai still had the unfortunate habit of ruffling Big Doggy's fur the wrong way.

"Ahh, Kuro-rin, we're alone at last!" Fai exclaimed with his usual amount of cheer as he sprawled on the bed, leaving Kurogane to sit on a chair on the opposite side of the room by the door.

Kurogane resisted the urge to punch the slender man to death while he took a quick stock of the room. Besides the lone bed that was really too small, there was also a small writing desk, the chair upon which Kurogane now sat, and a curious thing that looked to be a small flame encased in a bubble, which lit up the entire room from its position on the desk.

"What _is_ that thing?" Kurogane jerked his chin towards the light source; sure that Fai would know what he was talking about despite the fact that his face was already buried in a pillow.

Fai rolled over and glanced at Kurogane before replying. "A simple charm, really. The innkeeper is the wielder of a very small amount of fire-magic, and this is probably simpler and less dangerous than keeping torches in each room."

"How do we turn it off?" The warrior asked suspiciously. Even after all this time, magic was still a bit uncomfortable to him (although he would never show it). Sure, Tomoyo-hime used magic, but she was mostly a seer and a healer, nothing flashy.

"Easy." Fai eyed the bubble for a moment before a brief blue ring enclosed it, extinguishing the flame.

"When did your magic become blue?" Kurogane wondered why he hadn't noticed it before. Admittedly, the magic was a still a very purple-ish blue, but definitely a different color from before.

"It would seem that the more I use it and the stronger it becomes, it also changes color," Fai shrugged. At first, after he got his magic back from the kid's clone (and after the big battle), he had used his magic sparingly, but now he was much more casual about it. Although he didn't show off, it no longer bothered him to do something as simple as say, put out a flame.

"Is the arm bothering you again?" Kurogane started at Fai's question. He hadn't even realized he was absentmindedly rubbing his left shoulder, where the artificial arm clamped onto him.

"No, it's just ..." he trailed off, well aware that the mage would see right through whatever excuse he made up.

Concern flashed across Fai's face. Kurogane never ceased to be amazed at how much more open and honest the idiot was now, compared to when they had first met. He hadn't seen that fake smile since …

He yelled in alarm as the artificial arm lit up with blue markings. Once the strange Celesian markings of Fai's magic had faded away, so did the pain.

"What did you do?" Not that he didn't trust the mage and all that, he just didn't want his arm spontaneously combusting in the middle of a battle because the idiot had forgotten to mention the spell would blow up if he tried a certain move or something.

"A modified version of a spell I used to use all the time … although I expected the previous one I cast to last longer than a mere four weeks," Fai's brow creased again with an uncharacteristic worry.

"Wait, what previous spell? Wha- When did you put a spell on me?" Kurogane stammered, then regained his composure and adopted a fierce glare.

"The spell I cast is a variation of what I always used to arm our soldiers with before a battle," Fai explained. "The actual spell is one that renders the receiver devoid of pain, but also devoid of emotions. I told you once that I can't use healing magic at all – only magics good for wars and killing. The ultimate fighter is someone who isn't afraid to die on the battlefield; someone who's greatest concern isn't their missing arm, but that they had not yet killed enough to be considered a hero."

Kurogane fought to keep his tone mild. "Please tell me you didn't just erase all my emotions."

Fai sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. "Kuro-chii, if your emotions were gone, you wouldn't be able to be mad or upset with me."

Kurogane twitched. He did not appreciate looking like a fool. "Then what exactly did you do?"

"I removed the no emotions part from the script I wrote, and directed the pain reliever into your arm instead of your eyes." Fai seemed to be rather enjoying his role as teacher.

"Why would you put magic on someone's eyes?" Kurogane tensed instinctively.

Fai propped himself up to look Kurogane in the eye. "Have you learned nothing from our journey?" Kurogane bristled but did not interrupt. "A person's eyes are very important. They serve as a conduit for magic, in particular magic that affects the soul, brain, or heart and not simply the body. They're also somewhat a portal to the three afore mentioned things: eyes can never lie."

So that's why even the master actor couldn't hide all the pain and sadness that was in his eyes, that _is_ still in his eyes.

"Alright, but you still haven't explained when and why you put a spell on me!" Kurogane refused to drop his glare until he got all his questions answered. "You know I don't like magic!"

"You don't?" If Kurogane didn't know better, he would have thought it was hurt that had flickered across the mage's face.

"Well, ah …" he shifted uncomfortably and tried to backtrack. "I just don't like it when it's so sudden, and when it's applied to me without my permission!"

"But I would never do anything to hurt my Kuro-myu!" Fai gazed at him, blue eyes wide with mock innocence.

"Will you shut up with the weird names!?" Now that the awkward moment was over, Kurogane was more than ready to fly into a rage again.

"Your name is so long and boring though, Kuro-rin!" Fai beamed at him.

Kurogane roared and swiped at the mage, only to find him already gone from his reach. He tried to grab onto Fai without success for several minutes, until he was at last inclined to pronounce defeat … for the moment, anyway.

Fai was back on the bed and Kurogane came to sit beside him. "You know, you never answered my questions."

Fai just smiled mischievously. "Now, now, I'm allowed to still keep some secrets from you!" He chuckled happily, once again burying his face in the pillow.

Kurogane tensed. That smile was just like the smile this morning, when they had come into this new world. That smile was a smile Kurogane had hoped he would never see again: a smile that lit up his whole face, a smile that attempted to reach into his eyes, but a smile in which the soul remained gloomy and the heart remained frozen.

* * *

**A/N** - I'm looking to update about once a week - unfortunately, I doubt my life will allow anything more often that ^__^' But please be patient and bear with me! A reviewer mentioned that rereading the same dialogue wasn't the most exciting thing, but I intended it so that you need not read _Crimson_ to understand _Sapphire_, or vice-versa, so if anyone prefers surprises they can only read one of the two!

This chapter turned out much, much longer than intended. I first wrote it from Kuro's POV, then wrote it from Fai's, but ended up adding so much to Fai's that I had to go back and rewrite Kuro's, and back and forth -sweatdrops- hehe. I hope it doesn't seem too much like I'm just rambling and adding insignificant details to the story ...


	3. Another Question

Chapter 3 – Another Question

Kurogane wasn't even sure what had happened after, just that he had an irrepressible urge to beat that smile off of Fai's face forever (would it really kill him just to be _happy?_), but when he blinked, he had Fai pinned by the throat against the wall (which now had a sizable dent) while Fai's elongated nails dug into his arm, extracting blood.

Fai's slitted golden eyes widened as he realized who he was stabbing and he slowly retracted his claws, although his eye color did not change from its vampiric state to its usual bewitching sapphire.

A wry, hard smile spread across the vampire mage's face. "Why, Kuro-rin, is there something wrong? You're hurting me a little."

Kurogane slowly let go of his companion and watched as he slumped to the floor. He didn't realize how loudly he was breathing until he heard the ragged panting emanating. Fai remained on the floor with head bowed and his blonde hair covering his eyes. Neither of them moved until the first drop of blood finally snaked its way down Kurogane's arm and flung itself into the air.

"Have it," Kurogane growled when he saw Fai's head twitch slightly at the falling droplet of blood. "It'll just end up on a towel somewhere anyway," he pressed when the pale vampire did not respond.

Fai moved with astonishing speed, nearly cleansing Kurogane's arm of blood before he even realized that the mage had given in without much of a fight for once. He lingered over the last and largest gash on the warrior's arm, and Kurogane could not help but the notice the fangs that were getting larger by the second.

"Go on," he said gruffly. "I don't mind."

_Just how much thirst has he been hiding these past weeks?_ Kurogane wondered as Fai drank daintily, but hungrily from his wrist. _I didn't even know he still needed blood! I thought he was no longer a vampire!? _The mage hadn't drunk from him since before he got his magic back, back when he still drank from Kurogane almost every day, and Kurogane swore he remembered being told that Fai would no longer be a vampire once he got his eye back.

_Just another question he's probably not going to answer, _the ninja thought rather bitterly. _Just when I thought he had gotten past his secrets and lies …_

Kurogane was beginning to feel a little bit lightheaded when Fai finally let go of his arm with a shuddering gasp.

He watched silently as the blonde raised a trembling hand to his lips and stared at the red liquid gleaming on his fingers before his tongue darted out and finished it all off. He watched as his friend's still golden eyes dulled into a look of hopelessness he had seen too often before. He watched as the slender man, back turned to Kurogane, shed his beautiful white and blue clothes, leaving on only a loose white tank top and donning a pair of sweatpants that had popped out of Mokona's mouth along with some other personal possessions – and noted the difficulty that was involved in tossing aside the navy glove with blood still clinging to the remainder of the glove's fingertips.

Kurogane's eyes jumped to the small tattoo on the mage's left shoulder. It was another magical marking, although unlike the previous one that had presided over most of his back, it merely curled around his left shoulder blade. It had been applied by Fai himself, designed to mask his enormous magical powers from others.

"What happened there?" Kurogane hissed angrily, frustrated with his _friend_'s return to this despairing state. "I thought you said you were no longer a vampire …"

The door crashed open as Syaoran tumbled in. "Are you ok? The crash woke me, but ah …" the boy blushed. "I couldn't come until I was decent." Kurogane noted numbly that the kid's shirt was on backwards.

Fai turned around, his eyes not quite yet back to normal (more of a pale, almost white blue) and smiled. Another one of _those_ goddamn smiles! "It's alright Syaoran-kun, Kuro-pii just got a little overexcited. You know how he is!"

Kurogane saw the kid's gaze turn worriedly to him and faced him. He inclined his head awkwardly, praying that Syaoran wouldn't notice the blood-stained glove. It would be hard to explain what exactly had happened, when he was still so confused. "It was nothing important, go back to sleep, kid."

Syaoran's gaze narrowed slightly, but at last he bowed his head in submission. "Good night, then." He left without waiting for a response from either man.

Kurogane turned away from the doorway in time to see the sheets rustle into place around the mage, who was lying on his stomach. Although there was room left for him on the bed, he opted instead to lean against the wall and observe, waiting until Fai's breathing slipped into a slow and steady rhythm to loosen the tension coiled in his muscles.

"Why?" He whispered to the face. "Why won't you let go of your masks?"

He spent the rest of the night watching the mage feign sleep.

* * *

**A/N** - Sorry about the rather short chapter, but I didn't want to merge it with the previous one because I wanted the vampire Fai to have a chapter to himself ^__^ I'll make up for it next chapter, I promise!

In case you're wondering, there actually is a reason for Fai being a vampire. I wanted the fanfic to be as canon as possible, so just randomly making Fai a vampire because I love him that way doesn't work for me. I'm sure the reason will be revealed in some dramatic fashion later on -knowing smile-

As for the tattoo, I didn't want to go on a long rant about it during the narration, so I'll explain it a bit more here. I don't actually have a particular design for it set in my mind, so if anyone is really bored and wants to suggest something to me, I'm open ^__^ The purpose of the tattoo is that it makes Fai's magical energy from others, so if another magician was looking at him, he wouldn't be able to tell Fai had magic at all. The tattoo is useless when Fai actually starts using his magic though; in order to conceal his magic while he's conjuring a spell he would need a masking spell. The tattoo doesn't really play a big part in the story, but for those really picky readers that sift through all the details, you might want to keep what I just said in mind for later -hinthint-

Just a note about the chapter names - the chapters are named after important parts of the chapter (obviously) and while it may seem _Crimson_ and _Sapphire_ should have matching chapter names, I thought this would be another interesting way to address the differences between Kurogane and Fai.


	4. Soldiers To Bury

Chapter 4 – Soldiers To Bury

Kurogane blinked open his eyes to find a bright light piercing his eyes and blinding him. Ducking his head to avoid the sun's glare, he glanced at the mage.

_Either he's actually sleeping now, or he's doing a much better job at pretending to do so. _

Groaning slightly, he got up out of the chair and stretched.

_That'll teach me to stay in one position all night,_ he chastised himself as he shook out his cramped muscles. _And falling asleep while I was on watch!_

Of course, he had been on a self-proclaimed watch, and he had only been watching one thing (or rather, one person), but never the less, it was inexcusable to have been so careless.

Peering out the window, Kurogane was glad to see that the blizzard had stopped and the wind was reduced to a quiet hum, quite different from the howling shrieks that were heard yesterday.

"Nnng …" Kurogane jerked around, wondering if the mage had woken up, and if so, what he was going to say about last night.

When it was clear that Fai hadn't woken up, Kurogane did his best to smooth out the wrinkles in his crumpled clothes and slipped out into the hallway. No sounds came from the kid's room, so he descended the stairs and strode into the small dining area of the inn.

He settled himself down at the bar and grunted an order for alcohol. With a bottle in hand, he moodily stared around, deep in thought.

_The idiot is a vampire, and that's not the only thing he kept and is keeping from me. When will he learn that keeping all of these secrets will only destroy him in the end? When will he learn to just goddamn __**let it all out**__ and put some trust in someone for once?!_

_I swear, he's lucky that I've known him for a while now, or else I would be busy punching his head in … I can't stand knowing that –_

"Soldiers! Soldiers are coming!" Kurogane heard the cry in the lobby and quickly ran out to see what was going on, his bottle forgotten on the countertop of the bar. The small room was already filled with people, many who had just come in from the streets.

"What? Why?" The innkeeper looked panicked and was hovering around the man who had just shouted, wringing his hands in worry. "We've done nothing to displease His Majesty!"

_Great, another psycho king. Just what we need now_. Kurogane thought angrily.

"This was magicked into our town square not ten minutes ago!" The messenger extracted a rolled up piece of parchment from his cloak.

The innkeeper snatched the sheet from the other man's hand. "It says here that there was a great flare of magickal power yesterday evening and it originated about 15 minutes away from the village …"

"So? What's that supposed to mean? Why's your king coming?" Kurogane demanded after watching all the color drain out of his host's face.

It was a woman, standing in the crowd, who answered him. "His Majesty is The Great and Honorable High Mage of Alancia, and none can dispute his magickal prowess! He is a great leader who is fair and kind, and deserves to be honored as we would a god!"

"What the …" Kurogane was about to comment on the ridiculous view of the king when the woman caught his eye and brought a finger up to her lips, shaking her head slightly.

Her meaning was clear. _There are ears everywhere._

_A burst of magic yesterday …_

_That must have been Mokona transporting us into this world._

Cursing, he went upstairs to fetch his companions.

* * *

After shooting a hesitant glance at the door to his shared room, Kurogane hurried down the hall and rapped loudly on the kid's door. Feeling his impatience growing, he was noticeably agitated by the time Syaoran appeared.

"Quickly, come downstairs. There's trouble," He snatched the pork bun out of the air as it attempted to attack his face, ignoring its muffled whining.

He left the kid to it as he swiftly walked back down the hall, pausing for only a brief moment to shove all his personal problems and issues with the idiot down into the little corner of his mind made especially for those types of things, and opened his door.

He found the blond already dressed in fresh Celes clothes, no doubt transported here by magic, with his head cocked inquisitively and a brand-new smile plastered onto his face.

Kurogane ground his teeth in frustration. _Not the time_, he told himself. _I'll have a talk with him after we deal with all the soldiers._

"There's trouble," he grunted, leaving Fai to follow him as he led the way back downstairs. Syaoran and Mokona had emerged from their room to follow Kurogane as well, and even Mokona was subdued by the tense atmosphere and the loud sound of the crowd below them.

As he ducked under the ceiling and paused on the last few steps, everyone hushed and turned to them. The two shorter guys behind him peered around his arms (Kurogane noted that in any other situation, the mage would have simply rested his chin on his shoulder and most likely attempted to give him a hug) as the innkeeper stepped forward, the crowd parting for him.

_And I thought people only did that for the Amaterasu and Tomoyo-hime. _He didn't like the way this was going. Most of the faces staring at him were hostile, although almost no one dared meet him in the eye, except for the innkeeper, who did so with great fear present.

_Somehow, I don't think that fear is meant for me._

"What's going on?" Kurogane asked flatly.

The innkeeper took in a deep breath. "The soldiers of His Majesty are on the way. By the end of the day, not a single one of us will be left alive." His voice wavered. "I'm telling you this now because I'm going to die anyway, and if one of you truly is a skilled magicks-user, you may still live to see a new dawn.

Our king is a horrible and cruel sorcerer. He is an absolute lover of power, and the one thing he fears most is someone that could take his throne from him. Because of this, the use of serious magicks within the kingdom is forbidden, and everyone with significant power is torn apart by the king's dogs and then roasted and fed to those very same dogs.

Every single magicks-user with the potential to overturn His Majesty's rule has been hunted down and slaughtered, then their family would follow while their villages burned to the ground … His Majesty does not forgive 'traitors' easily.

Yesterday evening, His Majesty detected a sudden flare of very strong, very powerful magicks. There is little doubt in my mind that it is the fault of one of you, although I only sense elemental magic from the brown haired one," the innkeeper gestured at Syaoran. "Yet I cannot hold the blame against you, for clearly you are not from this country.

I will die tonight, but I won't blame you."

_That's not going to happen._ Kurogane looked at the brave, trembling man standing in front of him in an act of defiance towards his cruel king; at the woman who had warned him with a slim finger earlier, and who, he saw with a pang, was now cradling a baby to her chest; at all the townspeople gathered in the lobby of this humble inn, some with determination burning in their eyes and knives in their hands, ready to fight for those they love, others simply crying and clinging on tightly in anticipation of a time when they would no longer be able to.

_I won't let you die because of me._

Glancing back at his friends and fellow fighters, he saw them looking at him with the same thoughts plainly exposed in their eyes.

He stepped forward and the room fell silent. "We'll fight for you."

Syaoran came to stand beside Kurogane. "It's our fault that the soldiers are coming, so please …"

"Just hide. Stay inside, stay safe, and we'll make sure you don't suffer for our own actions." Fai's voice carried easily as he joined his companions.

The murmuring in the crowd grew louder as discussions erupted everywhere. At last, the innkeeper spoke again.

"That is kind of you," he said, bowing his head. "But it is too much to ask. Am I correct in saying that you three men are on some sort of journey?"

_How does he know that?_ Kurogane puzzled, instantly suspicious.

"It's ok," Syaoran replied quietly. "We can't leave knowing we've condemned an entire village to a dark and painful death."

The innkeeper studied the three men for a long moment.

"If they want to help us, we should let them!" A man called out. "Would you refuse a chance at life?"

"Would you be able to live knowing these three died for you?" The innkeeper countered.

"I won't die," Syaoran spoke again. "Not while my most precious person waits for me."

Kurogane seconded Syaoran. _I __**won't**__ die, not while I still have people to love and protect. Including the kid, idiot, and mage._

"Not everything can be solved with sheer will and love," A shadow crossed the innkeeper's face. "But if you are willing to fight, it would be foolish for me to refuse."

"We won't let you down," Syaoran promised.

"Don't worry about us," Fai added grimly, a new, feral smile on his face. "Worry about all those soldiers you're going to have to bury."

* * *

**A/N** - So, I've moved on a bit from emotion-centric chapters to insert the promise of some action here, which will probably lead to more emotion-centric chapters -laughs-

Sorry if breaking up the innkeeper's speech into paragraphs was a bit annoying to read, but I thought it was better than a giant blob of text anyway ^___^

As for the use of magicks and magic, there is no real difference, I just thought I would put something in to better highlight the difference between the townspeople and the travellers (although if you say them out loud there's no difference anyway ... -sweatdrops-)


	5. Wishing For Happiness

Chapter 5 – Wishing For Happiness

Kurogane climbed back onto the roof, joining Syaoran as he looked out over the white plains. The approaching soldiers had come closer and now, as the sun was beginning to set, the previously nearly indistinguishable horizon had been emphasized with a band of men dressed in bright red.

_They're not even trying to hide,_ Kurogane thought disgustedly_. They're just shouting out, 'We're not afraid, because we know we can slaughter you all!'_

_Well, they've got a surprise coming. _He stroked Souhi's handle. He had had Ginryuu sent back to Tomoyo by the mage, and Fai had refused to place another spell on his arm, leaving him to sheath Souhi at his waist.

"They've just set up camp for the night," Syaoran reported, gesturing at the mass of tents now erected, accompanied by a several fires.

"How many fires are there?" Kurogane squinted into the distance, glad that the flaming sun was at least not in his face.

"At least 20, as many as 25, I think." Syaoran's voice didn't quaver, even at the thought of being possibly being outnumbered by eighty to one.

_God damnit, it's going to be a suicide mission,_ Kurogane felt despair threaten him, a feeling he was not very familiar with. _Even I can't take on eighty men at once without serious injuries, and who knows how many out there are sorcerers of this king._

"You should get some sleep," he advised the kid. "You'll need to be well-rested tomorrow." _And very, very lucky._

"Make sure to wake up Fai-san when it's his turn to take watch so you can get some sleep too," Syaoran gave Kurogane a serious look, as if he had read the older man's thoughts and knew that Kurogane had planned to let the idiot sleep through his shift, if only so he wouldn't have a chance to talk to him.

Kurogane mutely nodded and Syaoran descended into the attic from which Kurogane had just come from. Whether or not Kurogane would actually listen to his directives was a something that remained to be seen.

_Tomorrow, I face an army to save people I barely know,_ Kurogane was left alone with his thoughts. _Tomoyo-hime would be proud._

To his dismay, the vast majority of the thoughts that now visited him were not ones he wanted to have. Instead of thinking of how the three of them could possibly defeat a group of what appeared to be about 250 soldiers, he found himself thinking about the mage again.

_I remember when I first saw him in that witch's shop, he hadn't been smiling._ The memory came, of the day when he had arrived in a rage to the strange, more technologically advanced Japan. The day when his life had fallen apart, only to reassemble as something else entirely. _He hadn't been smiling, but by the time we made it to Hanshin, his mask was firmly in place. His precious "healing magic"._

He and Fai had arrived at the same time, with wishes as opposing as their personalities.

_We've both changed,_ He ran his fingers lightly over his mechanical arm. _As have our wishes and desires._

_He has learned how to truly smile again, although it is not something that's neither common nor easy for him. There was a time when I would have thought that his mask was completely gone, but it had only been replaced with a colder, icier one. Just when I think that that one had finally melted, leaving him exposed, I'm faced with what happened last night, and I'm not so sure anymore._

_I've lost and gained an arm. According to Tomoyo, I've realized the meaning of true strength, but to me, it seems like all the first journey has given me is the knowledge that sometimes, I am powerless to help, no matter how desperately I may want to protect someone. It's not a kind or soothing thought._

_My wish was granted, yet I threw it away when I left again. His wish was overturned by himself when he wished to go to Celes and confronted Ashura. _

_The clone's wish had been to retrieve all of the princess's feathers, while the real kid's wish had been to have another chance to save her life. Now, the clone is just a memory, and the kid is on another journey to grant a new wish._

_The mage probably has a hidden wish, one that he would ever tell anyone about it without a lot of prodding and questioning, and maybe not even then. Who knows what he's thinking about all the time? Not me._

_I don't even know my own desires. If today I were to be asked by that witch's assistant what my wish was, I wouldn't know how to answer anymore._

_I wouldn't wish for a victory tomorrow, as that wouldn't be honourable. I wouldn't wish that Syaoran succeeds in his journey, as that might not be possible, and besides, that would defeat the purpose of his, and my, travelling._

_One thing that I could wish for, as I want it dearly, is something I couldn't ever wish for, as the price shouldn't be mine to pay._

_I wish …_

_I wish the idiot could be happy._

_But his happiness is something he must decide to make for himself._

_I can only hope, and help in any way I can._

_Just as I will for the kid._

_Just as I would for Tomoyo-hime. _

_Just as I would have for my parents._

_What happened to my parents won't happen to him._

_He's mine to protect now._

In the end though, there was one thought that overwhelmed the rest and settled not only in his head, but in his heart as well.

_I won't let them die._

* * *

Silver light from the moon and stars spilled over the landscape. It would have been a beautiful view, if not for the soldiers sleeping at the edge of the visible plains.

As it was, Kurogane was not in the mood to enjoy scenery. It was midnight and his watch was over. He stood up and stretched, almost startled to see that time had passed so quickly with the absence of conscious thoughts.

He heard the latch to the door open and turned to see the blond step onto the roof, his long Celes robe dragging on the ground as usual.

Kurogane nodded to him and stepped inside. The coat that someone had lent him was slightly tight on him and he couldn't wait to be out of it and in a heated room.

"Don't fall asleep," he grunted, holding the door open.

"Don't worry, Kuro-pu," he offered a small tentative smile.

There was something odd.

The mage was … different somehow.

Kurogane glared at him.

"Good. I'm trusting you," he said before closing the door.

_Don't let me down._

* * *

After skimming the surface of sleep for a couple of hours, Kurogane found himself staring out the window.

_Come on,_ he commanded himself_. If you're not going to sleep, you should be thinking of a battle plan!_

Instead, his head was filled with ridiculous thoughts of things he should do before it was too late and a growing sense of unease.

Heaving a sigh, he decided to check up on the mage and make sure he wasn't slacking off.

* * *

He found him lying on his back, seemingly oblivious to the snow on the roof, with his eyes closed and humming.

"You know, being on watch usually involves watching," Kurogane growled, leaning over him. "What if, a spy had been sent ahead to check out our defenses? Or an assassin had been creeping up to finish us off before we got a chance at an honorable battle?"

The humming stopped and a blue eye lazily blinked open.

"But I am watching, Kuro-pon! I'm using my magic to feel for auras and spells," Fai sat up and rubbed his eyes. "I have to stay up here for at least another two hours until sunrise, so why are you here?"

Kurogane chose to ignore the question. "What if someone was hiding their magic, like you do?"

Fai shrugged. "If there was someone using magic and hiding it, I wouldn't be able to _see_ it either. Besides, I've placed wards around this entire town, and nothing will enter or leave without my permission."

Kurogane grunted, at a loss for words.

Fai smiled. Kurogane scrutinized him, and decided it was a real smile, if only because it was not a happy one.

A mental battle promptly broke out in his mind. What should he do? Should he comfort the other man? Should he ask him what's wrong? He wanted to, but he was a hardened seasoned warrior. He did not know, nor did he really care to, how to comfort people.

Finding himself in a suddenly awkward situation, Kurogane made a quick decision.

No one was going to die tomorrow, not if he could help it. But still … He really shouldn't do anything that he wouldn't want to remember as he was sent to his grave.

He squatted down and looked Fai in the eyes. "I told you before; don't smile if you don't feel like it. No one is forcing you to be happy. Your happiness is something you must make for yourself." He found himself repeating his own thoughts from earlier.

"But Kuro-chan," Fai said softly, sad smile still in place. "Wouldn't you be happier if I was happy?"

Kurogane wondered how seriously Fai was asking the question and avoided his eyes as he thought. Should he answer truthfully? That yes, he would be? Or was this a trick, potentially dooming him to several more months of incessant teasing?

Still debating, he turned back; only to find that the other man had turned away, smile no longer present.

Left with the feeling that his moment had passed and he had not lived up to expectations, he felt oddly deflated.

The mage's next words were spoken so quietly that he wasn't sure if he was supposed to have heard them.

"Sometimes, Kuro-sama, I feel as if I'm running away faster from happiness than I am from life."

_Why? What kind of man runs away from happiness?_

_What kind of man runs away from life?_

Finding himself, once again, unsure what to do or say, Kurogane spoke his mind.

"I really don't understand you," he spoke slowly, almost delicately, trying to measure the reaction to his words. There was none. "But I do understand this: you need to stop running, and start _living_."

After a moment of quiet silence, Fai looked up again and the smile flowed back as if it had never been gone.

_And while you're at it, get rid of the fake smiles. They're beginning to look worn._

The only sound to be heard was a faint rustle of clothing as Fai scooted over so he could rest his head on Kurogane's shoulder. Almost automatically, Kurogane reached over with his arm and hugged Fai to him.

_I'll help you. _

* * *

Time meandered placidly as Kurogane looked at, but did not _see_, the stars.

Fai had fallen asleep a short while ago, leaving Kurogane to watch the horizon for their enemy.

_Stupid idiot,_ he thought, although not harshly, _falling asleep during his shift._

Kurogane started humming, the tranquility and quiet doing much to put and keep him in a good mood. The feeling of Fai's body against his made him happy, and it took him a few moments of reflection to figure out why.

He trusted him enough to fall asleep like this.

The thought warmed his heart and he couldn't help a little smile as he looked down.

_He looks so vulnerable when he's sleeping._ Kurogane subconsciously started stroking the other's hair. The blond strands slipped through his fingers like a whispered secrets, escaping his grasp to fall down into perfect disarray again. He leaned in …

… and realized what he was doing. He withdrew his entire arm in shock.

_What am I doing!?_

_Wha … What?!_

Fai, apparently sensing the lack of warm around him, twisted closer to him without waking up.

Uncomfortable now, Kurogane froze, unsure what to do.

_Get up,_ a part of him screamed at him. _Get up, get up! Get up before something, before anything happens! You're a warrior! You don't have time for someone that can't even live on his own! Leave him! GET UP!_

He had almost made up his mind to leave and run away when the other part of him finally decided to spring to life.

_No! Stay!_ The images flashed before him, of Fai in Outo, Fai in Piffle, Fai in Tokyo, Fai in Infinity, every time he had had that look on his face, the look that let Kurogane see just how afraid he was to trust again, to make another bond. _Would you destroy him the same way Ashura did?_

_Ashura was a madman!_ He argued with himself.

_No … Ashura loved Fai. More than anyone else, Fai was his most precious person … and it was because of that that Ashura did his very best to insure that Fai would break both his curses and could live on._

_I can't leave him._

Heaving a long sigh, he lifted Fai up onto his lap. No sooner than a few seconds after he was settled, Fai started making an odd sound.

_Is he … purring?_ Kurogane was dumbfounded. _Is it supposed to be possible for a human to make that sound?_

_Either way …_ Kurogane leaned back, placing his weight on his two palms as he stretched his arms behind him. _He's mine to protect now._

* * *

The smallest rays of sun had already started conquering the night when the first tears appeared, sliding silently down his cheek, leaving trails that glistened like frost.

Kurogane had decided against waking up both the kid and the mage for dawn. Letting them sleep a little bit more wouldn't hurt them.

But a nightmare would.

And that was what Fai was evidently going through.

Kurogane shook him gently. "Hey."

Fai whimpered but didn't wake up; instead he curled up even more against Kurogane.

The tears began to flow in earnest.

"Hey!" Alarm filled the ninja. "Mage!"

Mumbling incomprehensively, Fai finally stirred and opened his eyes.

As Fai sat up slowly and gazed out at the vast expanse of white, breathing hard, Kurogane saw the blank look of horror in his sapphire eyes. The mage reached up and touched his face, as if unsure if the tears had followed him to the real world.

"You have a lot of nightmares, don't you," Kurogane winced as the blunt statement left his lips. A stray passing thought had somehow made it past his lips and he was afraid of what his insensitive statement might do to Fai.

"Mmmm," Fai turned to Kurogane. "I have too many bad memories and too many unhappy thoughts to dream of more cheerful things, I suppose."

"Tell me about it," Kurogane suggested. "It'll make you feel better, I think." Kurogane was reminded of all the times when Tomoyo-hime had come to him after a particularly gruesome dream – usually all the worse, because it was the predictable future.

"You wouldn't want to hear it," Fai wiped away the tears on his sleeves and looked up at Kurogane, still clinging to him. A smile struggled to his face.

_That's it._ The peace, the certainty Kurogane had felt before was gone. _That stupid, stupid, smile!_

'Will you _stop_ smiling?" Kurogane hissed. "You're right, I _am_ happier when you're happy. But only if you're actually happy, not when you're hurting and pretending. Not when you're lying and hiding and locking yourself and your secrets up. I'm not happier when you're running away from me, or when you're talking about getting yourself killed, but I'd rather hear those thoughts, that are truly yours, than the ones that you make up. You just piss me off so much sometimes, but-"

_-but sometimes, I just want to hold you tight and tell you it's all going to be okay._

The door slammed open and Syaoran burst onto the roof.

"I'm sorry for sleeping in!" He huffed, hands on his knees. "You should have woken me up, Fai-san!"

He looked up and started blushing furiously. "Eeh? Kurogane-san, Fai-san! I'm sorry for, uh, for interrupting …" His voice trailed off.

Kurogane could feel his face heating up until it rivaled the shade of red that the kid had become.

"Oh, it's no bother Syaoran-kun!" Fai beamed at him, his cheeks only slightly flushed. "You weren't interrupting anything!"

_He's cute when he's blushing._

Kurogane felt like slapping himself, and then throwing himself off a cliff. Preferably a cliff where sharp jagged rocks awaiting him at the bottom. Whatever dignity he had had, had just disappeared with that thought.

"In fact," Fai looked up and grinned at Kurogane. "Kuro-pii had just finished confessing his love for me!"

Sometimes, it really worried Kurogane how Fai seemed to place no value in honesty.

"So, um, would you two like to get some rest?" Syaoran, flustered, gestured vaguely with his hands. "It is my watch …"

"Yes, I think I'll be off now. I've heard what I wanted to hear," Fai delicately got up.

Kurogane watched Fai walk away without a single glance back.

"I'll be going too." Kurogane was in a daze. Even to him, he was contradictory. He couldn't deny the fact that in a way, he hated Fai, really, really, truly, deeply hated him. Hated his personality, hated the way he could talk about life as if it was something to throw around. Hated the way he closed himself to others, and in turn sometimes failed to understand what others saw of him. He hated how he tried so hard to be alone, when the most painful thing for him was himself.

Yet he wanted to protect him almost more than anything else in the world. He wanted to see Fai smile, and laugh, not out of need or habit but out of feeling. He wanted to see that blond hair fall across sparkling blue eyes filled with joy. He wanted to see him dance, sing, and joke around the way he did in the beginning of their first journey, but with sincerity. He wanted Fai not to talk about death and unhappiness and how he can't escape, not because he chooses not to, but because he doesn't need to. Hell, he wouldn't even mind being called names if it meant he could chase him around.

He just wanted Fai to be happy.

Why did it feel almost like too much to ask?

* * *

**A/N** - And we're back to emotion-centric ... I couldn't help it! XD I hope this chapter didn't seem too OOC ...

This chapter was the peace before the storm, the battle is coming up !


	6. Foreign Emotion

**A/N **- I'm sorry, it's not quite the battle yet ... next chapter for sure though! (it's already written, so this time I am certain it'll be next chapter)

* * *

Chapter 6 – Foreign Emotion

He hadn't spoken to Fai all day.

When he had gone back to his room after everything on the roof, he hadn't been there. Kurogane had slept restlessly, feeling very aware of the empty space and the lack of warmth where Fai should have been.

When he had gotten up to finalize preparations, barely a couple of hours after he had gotten into bed, he had found himself worrying about the mage. Mentally chiding himself, he had managed to convince himself that Fai could take care of himself.

Treading lightly up onto the roof, he had frowned, seeing that the kid was no longer there. Tracing his steps back down and then further into the lobby of the inn, he had caught the eye of the innkeeper.

"He's at the north end of town," the man had mouthed, clearly reading the question on Kurogane's face.

_North, where the soldiers are coming from._ Kurogane had debated the wisdom of transporting everyone there instead of spread around, on guard for a surprise attack from another front. _I suppose they finally decided there was no threat from any other direction …_

He had found the town absorbed in a bustle of activity. While weaving his way through the crowded slushy streets, walking to the edge of town, Kurogane had attracted a lot of looks. Some had acknowledged him with a nod, which he returned, while others had glanced away if they saw him turn to them.

"Kid," he had greeted him when he arrived. "How is everything? Are we ready?"

"As ready as ever, I think," Syaoran had answered, a blush rising to his face. Kurogane groaned inwardly. He had hoped that the kid had magically forgotten about what he saw on the roof, but apparently it was not so.

On another hand, he wasn't just a kid to be protected and coddled anymore. This Syaoran, he supposed, never had been.

_Moving on …_

"You can go to sleep now; we'll head out just before sunset," Kurogane had been compelled to say more. "Listen … just do your best out there, ok?"

Syaoran had looked directly into Kurogane's eyes. "Don't worry, Kurogane. Sakura's waiting for me."

Kurogane had merely bowed his head. If it helped him fight better, then let him believe in whatever he wanted to, but Kurogane knew that you couldn't rely on anything like fate or love in the middle of a battle.

"What is there left to do?" He had looked around at the men organizing the town's defense. Syaoran had told him that he had left his watch post to help instead with the preparations for when, if, they failed to defeat the soldiers.

"Nothing much," Syaoran had answered. "We're basically good to go; we just need to figure out a battle plan for this evening."

Now, as he hurried back down the street, Kurogane wondered if he was wrong to let the kid fight. He was worried that Syaoran was developing some sense of invincibility, although for someone that young, anyone really, to be that strong and determined was quite a feat.

He peered around for the mage. Why did he always have to cause so much _trouble_? If he wasn't disappearing, he was busy screwing around with Kurogane.

_I'm getting tired of playing this game of his._ Kurogane strode into the inn, planning to question the innkeeper. _Especially when I don't know the rules, and I just have no f**king idea what he's playing at in the first place!_

_One minute, I think I can trust him, that he's not just lying his way through life._

_The next, he disappears again, and when he comes back he's full of fake smiles._

_How can I trust someone like that in battle?_

_How can I trust someone like that at all?_

Cursing under his breath, Kurogane finally located the innkeeper among the masses in the lobby. The inn had become somewhat of a meeting point for all sorts of discussions about the coming fight.

"Where's the idiot?" He asked brusquely.

"The blond?" The innkeeper looked apprehensive.

Kurogane groaned. "What did he do now?"

Beckoning for him to follow, the innkeeper led him into a back room. "He was at the bar very early this morning, and he had rather a lot to drink …"

Fai was passed out on a couch, his face flushed and his hair messy.

Eyeing him with distaste, Kurogane leaned down and hoisted the mage over his shoulder. "I'll just take him back to our room."

"Ah, ok!" the innkeeper frantically scurried around, insuring that Kurogane was not in danger of bumping into any tables or anything valuable.

Kurogane dumped Fai unceremoniously on their bed.

"Wake up, mage," he commanded, his tone quite different from what it had been in the earlier hours of the morning when he had given the same order. "I know you're not actually drunk!"

"Not for lack of trying," Fai mumbled, opening his eyes. "Besides, why do you care?"

_Not this again!_

Kurogane tried, he really did. He opened his mouth and prepared to give Fai a long lecture about how he meant it when he said he was happier when Fai was happier, but the words got disoriented somewhere from his heart to his brain, and then lost altogether on the way from his brain to his vocal chords.

"I don't know," is what came out instead.

"Then go away." Fai rolled over in bed and pulled the covers up over his head.

Kurogane glared angrily at the covers, and then yanked them back down. "What, so you can mope around here until you finally decide to kill yourself? Fat deal of good that'll do anybody."

"You know _nothing_ about whether I should live or die," Fai hissed, sitting up to face Kurogane. His eyes were slitted, on the verge to becoming vampiric again.

"Don't I get a say?" Kurogane shot back. "What if I have an opinion?"

"Oh?" Fai responded in a sarcastic voice. "What is this oh-so-important opinion of yours?"

"Maybe …" Kurogane looked away, feeling his face heat up again. This was just too much of an emotional overload for him. "Maybe I don't want you to die."

Silence.

A silence that seemed so long and suffocating …

Fai got up off the bed. He grasped Kurogane's face gently but firmly in his pale, silken fingers and turned it to him.

Kurogane met his gaze.

"Kuro-chan …" he whispered, tilting his head up, leaving Kurogane to stare mesmerized into those sapphire eyes.

"What?" Kurogane whispered back, and although he loathed admitting it, he was a little bit breathless.

Fai laced his fingers through Kurogane's hair and pulled him closer.

The world outside of them was reduced to a blur of meaningless color and sound, color and sound …

Kurogane felt lost as their eyes broke contact.

Fai leaned in …

…

"You shouldn't care about someone like me, Kuro-sama," Fai's voice sounded like velvet in his ear.

Kurogane was then let go, and Fai stepped back so that he plopped back onto the bed.

"Wh-what was that!?" He sputtered, desperate to gain back his dignity.

He had no time for the ache in his chest.

"What I said, Kurogane," Fai smiled up at him. A smile made from so many pain and secrets and shrouded in so much mystery that Kurogane was beginning to feel like he had never known this man, never did and never will, that he could not hope to even penetrate into the mind of such a person, that he was destined to be forever locked outside of this magician's world, a world he had tried so hard and so desperately to be allowed into, both for the sake of its occupant and for his own reasons. "Stop caring; it's for the best."

It was Kurogane's turn to grab Fai.

"Just tell me, goddamnit," he said, his words strangled until it sounded almost like a plea to his ears, almost like he was begging for something. "Tell me what's bothering you, tell me why you smile like that, tell me how to take away all your pain, and let me help you!"

_And don't call me Kurogane!_

The sapphires flickered, disturbed by thoughts and emotions.

_Eyes can never lie._

Until they settled onto a blank look that chilled Kurogane's heart.

"Let go, Kurogane." Fai gently but forcefully pried Kurogane's fingers from his shoulders.

_His voice didn't even waver._

Fai got up and made to leave the room.

"Listen to me!" Kurogane practically screamed. "What is it that you want? Why do you assume you can just mess around with people like that, playing your sick little games, teasing them, poking them, only to leave them as if they meant nothing in the end?"

Fai opened the door and turned around. "I was always meant to die, Kurogane. I don't why it hasn't happened yet, and I can't do it by myself. Save yourself some heartache Kurogane, just forget about everything and anything that happened between us now."

"There is _nothing_ between us!" Kurogane was beginning to really get pissed now. "There you go again! Assuming things that aren't so, telling me what to do, being all unreasonable …"

Fai just smiled – _GOD. DAMN. SMILE._ – and exited the room.

"Why would anyone want to die so badly anyway?!" Kurogane stormed around the room, lacking anything better to do. He growled, mad at the mage, mad at himself for not making anything better (if anything, only making everything worse), mad at hitsuzen or whatever it was that had forced him to land in Yuuko's shop at the same time as Fai.

_That stupid mage! Well, I'm definitely not going through anything like that again. He can deal with his own problems now._

Kurogane had no time for that strange, foreign ache in his chest.

_Stop caring? Who said I cared in the first place?_ He huffed, needing to hear himself utter the lie, if only so that ache would subdue and maybe go away.

_How did it get this bad?_

* * *

Kurogane ended up visiting the stables alone that afternoon. Syaoran was sleeping, Mokona beside him, and he sure as hell wasn't going to go talk to the mage again.

"You see, we breed very special horses this far up north," the stable owner explained, pointing out various features of these animals that made them different from the horses that Kurogane had seen in Nihon. "We need it because our horses have to be able to handle the cold during fairly long journeys, journeys that would take four times as long if we walked."

Kurogane was not there to learn about horses. All he wanted was to see who he would be riding later in the day.

Unfortunately, he soon noticed …

"There are only two horses," he observed, frustrated.

"Well … yes," the stable owner hastened to try and get rid of the murderous look on the ninja's face. "You see, we're a pretty small town, and it's rarely necessary for anyone to go anywhere during the winter … This one here," he gestured at the larger stallion, "is a retired warhorse. He used to belong to the innkeeper."

"Why would an innkeeper have a retired warhorse?" Kurogane asked in disbelief.

The stable owner shrugged. "He rode Arashi when he first arrived at this town nearly a decade ago, and he's found his home here ever since."

Kurogane grunted (was it just him, or was he doing that a lot lately?). "What about that one, then?"

The other man moved on to the smaller mare. "She's our messenger horse. Never been in a battle before, but she's extremely loyal and well-trained. You should have no problems with her."

Kurogane 'tch'-ed in frustration. "I guess it'll have to be me and the kid then …" he muttered, mulling it over. "It might be better for the idiot to stay somewhere safe anyway …"

Thanking the man, he left to go spread the news.

* * *

As expected, both of his companions argued up a storm about who should go with Kurogane (he was rather pleased that no one suggested that he didn't go), while Mokona cheerfully and uselessly chirped that it would keep whoever was left behind company.

"Fai, you should stay behind so you can stay safe while using magic," Syaoran pressed. "If I stayed in town, I would be completely useless, but out on the battlefield, I may be able to do something. You would be a great help either way, and the less you're injured, the better it is for everyone."

The magician muttered something dark under his breath, and then continued at a normal volume. "But Syaoran-kun, I'm more experienced than you in battle, and I might need to be out there to get a proper feel for what magic is needed. Besides, Sakura-chan is waiting for you … but I have no one waiting for me."

Mokona let out a howl of protest and clamped onto Fai's head. "Mokona would wait for Fai!" it cried out, sounding rather offended that he would think otherwise. "Mokona would wait and hope that Fai can come back safely, and Mokona is sure Syaoran and Sakura and Kuro-wanko would wait and worry too, if Fai was going alone!"

A small smile flitted across Fai's face, then vanished when he noticed Kurogane's glare. Silence stretched out in the room for a brief few seconds before Fai responded. "Thank you, Mokona. But you really shouldn't speak up for others … I don't think Kuro-chan here would wait for me, he has much better things to do than worry over me, I'm sure."

"You're wrong," Kurogane said gruffly. "I told you before, and I'll tell you again, I _do_ care. Whether you like it or not."

Kurogane could see the word forming on Fai's lips. _Don't._

Syaoran quietly adopted the shade of a tomato. "A-ah, Kurogane-san, Fai-san, I-uh, I …" He trailed off, with nothing to say to make the situation any less weird for him.

"And because I care," Kurogane went on, determined to get this awkward solution resolved as quickly as possible, preferably before he displayed any more unmanly emotion, "You're going to stay behind while the kid comes with me onto the battlefield."

"I am not _yours_ to order around, _Kurogane_," Fai shoved his face in Kurogane's again. "Don't think you can boss me around."

Syaoran looked bewildered by this sudden change of atmosphere and even Mokona was stunned into silence.

Kurogane refused to look away. This was one battle he was _not_ going to lose.

"Face it, mage, Syaoran-kun had some pretty good points back there," he rumbled. "You're the only one that has any potential to do harm from a distance. Besides, you're not much good at sword to sword combat."

Fai let out a long hiss of frustration. He paced around the room, and then finally gave a curt nod. "Fine. I'll stay. But you two both have to let me place a communication spell on you, so we can still talk with our minds."

"Fine." Kurogane could see no problems. Syaoran hastily voiced his agreement, and when it was apparent nothing else was going to be said, slunk off to his room.

Once the kid was gone, the mage swept from the room without a backward glance.

Kurogane got up and left the inn, stretching out his limbs. Leaning against the wall beside the door, he looked up at the sky.

_I just don't understand him …_

_What does he want?_

_What can I do?_

_And how …_

_How exactly did we end up this way?_

Kurogane absentmindedly fisted his hand in front of his chest.

_What is this I'm feeling?_

* * *

**A/N** - Sorry for sticking in another emotion loaded chapter, but being the way I am, I just couldn't let Kuro and Fai go into battle happy with each other -sweatdrops-

A big THANK YOU goes out to all my everyone that has reviewed and/or added me to faves/alerts; the emails I get from never fail to make me happy -smiles-


	7. Phoenix

Chapter 7 - Phoenix

Kurogane held his sword out loosely at his side. Souhi had seen him through the victories of several battles, and would see him through many more, he was sure.

Sharing a glance with the kid, they nudged their horses forward together, straight into the range of the coming soldiers.

They plowed on, even as a volley of arrows flew at them.

Most of the arrows would have no doubt hit their mark, if not for the indigo barrier that sprang up whenever anything dangerous got within two, three meters of them.

"Fai-san's doing a good job," Syaoran remarked. Kurogane grunted, choosing instead to concentrate on who he needed to defeat first.

_The one bearing that hideous red flag._ A smirk awoke and played across his face. _Then, I'll just start taking whoever comes at me and hope the mage is capable of wiping out the sorcerers of the king._

The archers began to falter now that it was plain that no arrows would harm their targets. Some laid down their bows for swords or knives, while others raised their shields, ready for the first hit.

Urging his horse on, Kurogane flew towards his enemies, sword in hand, feral smile present.

In a smooth leap, he was brought perfectly in front of his target and quickly used Souhi to knock the man out.

He no longer killed unless necessary, as a tribute to Princess Tomoyo, and all his companions on the journey as well.

Whirling around quickly, he blocked multiple attacks from soldiers just now stumbling into action.

Swinging his sword in his trademark move, he yelled, "Hama Ryū-ō Jin!" About ten men were thrown back and did not rise again. Wondering whether he had killed them or not was a luxury Kurogane could not afford to have as more soldiers replaced the ones he had just struck. They slashed at him with their swords and jabbed at his steed.

Although armor protected him and his stallion from the worst of injuries, Kurogane was beginning to see what a hopeless situation this was.

Already, he was drifting a bit from Syaoran, despite their efforts to stay together. Riding Arashi gave him the advantage of height, as most of the soldiers were on foot, but it only served to injure his warhorse further.

_Get out into the open! I can't shield you in such close quarters!_ Fai's voice sounded in Kurogane's head.

Guiding Arashi, he managed to clear himself and his surroundings of soldiers. He led Arashi at a gallop further north, forcing a good half of the soldiers to turn around and follow him.

_How can anyone be expected to fight with a sword from far away?_ He thought irritably.

_As long as you have enough space around you to swing your sword, I can shield you._ The idiot's voice sounded cold, even in his mind.

_But then that means I can't hit anything with my sword!_ Kurogane growled, realizing it was no use.

_Do you want to be protected or not?_ Fai snapped.

Kurogane was just a tiny bit stung by how little Fai seemed to care. He hardened his resolve.

_Either I fight, or I hide behind pretty magical walls._

There was no question about it really.

_I'm going in. _

* * *

It wasn't so bad, not at first.

Many men fell to Souhi's blade or Arashi's hooves. Kurogane had stopped caring whether his enemies lived or died after he had gotten stabbed in his arm for the fourth time, a sword or something somehow making it past his armor. The mage resided in cold silence for the majority of the time, presumably fighting his own battle, although he got occasional hints to watch out for someone or something behind him.

The real trouble came when the sorcerers of the king decided to reveal themselves.

Not long after he had decided to properly fight, Kurogane had become aware of a thrumming in the air. There was an energy that rippled around him, clashing and struggling for dominance. Although Kurogane saw no spells flashing in the air, he could only assume it was a magical battle. Hoping the mage would be able to defeat the sorcerers, he had paid the magic in the air no close attention. He had not thought to look out for the sorcerers, to finish them off physically.

Until they appeared in front of him. The soldiers quieted and many even stopped fighting altogether, although there were certainly enough to keep Syaoran occupied as Kurogane faced the sorcerers. There were five of them, all riding on horseback. Dressed in regal robes, each of them wearing a different color, they each also carried a glowing staff.

_Oh look, they match. How cute__,_ Kurogane thought sarcastically. Fai remained silent.

The one clad in green stepped forward. "Where is the magick-user?"

"What magick-user?" Kurogane growled.

"Please, don't even play stupid. It doesn't suit you." Kurogane barely had time for his brain to register the bizarre compliment before the sorcerer flicked his fingers and beams of green light shot out at him.

Kurogane made a split second decision. Hoping the mage was with him, he leapt forward. Indigo magic flared up around him as all the sorcerers attacked him at once, their staffs flaring green, red, violet, yellow, and magenta. He swept his sword in a broad arc, expecting it to bite into flesh.

Instead, he was blinded by a flash of green and thrown back.

Temporarily stunned, he watched in a daze as the air pulsed with flowing magic, all visible to him now. The indigo was predominant, but there were still little gaps here and there that made him grit his teeth when he was touched by a spell that snaked its way through.

_Get back on Arashi and come towards town!_ Fai commanded. _Magic is weakened by distance, and these five are all pretty powerful, I need all the help I can get!_

Kurogane clambered back onto his horse and blindly fled, trusting the mage to protect his back.

_I'm useless now,_ he thought disgustedly.

_No, you're not!_ Fai snapped. Kurogane was shocked by the force in his voice. _You've done more than me, anyway._

_Tch! This is not the time to argue about your value, mage!_ Kurogane wheeled around a stone's throw from town. _Let's go!_

_Careful,_ Fai cautioned. Kurogane could see the mage on the roof of the inn, robes and hair billowing in the wind when he looked behind him, waiting for the sorcerers to approach.

They quickly settled into a rhythm. Kurogane squashed his ingrained feeling of mutiny and struck when and where Fai told him to.

After several frustrating minutes, an opening appeared.

_Quickly!_ Fai ordered. _Now!_ Kurogane thrust his sword forward, Souhi flaring with Fai's magic, and was pleased to feel her bite into flesh. She hummed as he pulled her back out, causing red blood, so contrasting from the green robes of the sorcerer, to spurt everywhere.

Kurogane's brief moment of satisfaction was shattered when the other four sorcerers all cried out and his vision was filled with spells of all colors. The next thing he knew, the colors all faded to black and he fell back.

* * *

The first thing his mind registered was the smell of blood.

Decay.

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the bodies.

Souma.

Tomoyo.

Mokona.

Sakura.

Syaoran.

Even …

_Fai._

All of them, blood trailing from a plethora of cuts, some deep enough that Kurogane could see the white of bones, others appearing to be only small nicks.

_Wh-what happened?_

…

_It can't be!_

_Everyone …_

… _is dead?!_

Kurogane let out a low moan. The moan grew to become a scream that tore through the dead air as pain racked his body and he knew nothing, nothing any more, beyond the fact that there was nothing left, no one left, only pain and death and pain and death …

* * *

He opened his eyes once again, darkness giving way to white and blue.

_Kurogane!_ Fai cried out in his mind. Kurogane dully registered the fact that his name was not said as an insult for once, but in a voice that implied worry.

_What … what happened?_ He felt weak all over, his limbs all trembling and the desire to vomit mounting.

_Illusion spell,_ Fai said with disgust. _One of the most common ways to break down an opponent. Unfortunately,_ Fai continued, worry once again evident_. There were quite a few pain spells in there too._

Kurogane groaned. Shaking his head to clear his vision, he pushed himself up from the snowy ground, only to see that rather than the regular indigo shields he had assumed himself to be in, he was being sheltered by the flaming wings of … a blue phoenix?

_Whoa. This is new._

Fai seemed to laugh through their mental connection. _For me, too._

Kurogane was alarmed to see a writhing mass of multicolored magic aimed at them. _What's that?_

_Why, Kuro-chan,_ Fai said wryly. _You didn't think the battle was over, did you?_

_Ah._ Kurogane squinted. It was hard to see anything when he was surrounded on all sides by blue feathers that shimmered with fire. _How's it going then?_

_I think Kuro-rin's still a little bit muddled,_ Fai sounded mildly amused. _He seems a bit –_ The mage's words were cut off by a sudden cry of pain.

Kurogane didn't have time to wonder what had happened or ask Fai if he was alright before he was once again swept away by a pain that entered his body and tore him apart, clawing even at his mind and soul.

As his world faded to black yet again, he thought he heard the scream of a pissed off phoenix.

* * *

**A/N** - Ugh, I struggled a lot to write this chapter. I'm no good with battle scenes -sigh- Review, please?

Just a heads up - the next chapter MIGHT not be ready in a week (because I'm not entirely sure whether I want them to stay or move on (and if they move on, to where) yet). Sorry


	8. Inbetween

Chapter 8 - In-between

Groggily coming back to consciousness, Kurogane blinked open his eyes to see an unfamiliar ceiling. Pushing himself onto his fake arm, he looked around to find himself in some sort of medic ward, where six beds were lined up in the small room and the smell of herbs filled the air.

"Kid!" He called out, his voice rasping harshly into the air. When Syaoran came rushing hurriedly into the room, Kurogane was met with an assault of worried questions.

Wincing, the older man gruffly told the younger one to shut up while cradling his head in his hand.

"I have one hell of a headache," he grumbled. "What happened after I passed out?"

Hesitating slightly, Syaoran shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Do you remember anything at all?"

Kurogane growled, his mood worsening by the second as his head pounded. He also ached all over, and his arm was being to tremble after having supported him for such a short time. "If I remember, would I have to ask?"

Syaoran swallowed nervously. "Do you remember Fai-san's phoenix, at least?"

"So that wasn't just some crazy dream …" Kurogane muttered. "So what exactly did the idiot manage to do?"

"Well … actually …" Syaoran stuttered, looking absolutely miserable and on the edge of tears.

"What is it?" Kurogane felt like throttling something. If only he didn't hurt all over.

"Fai-san isn't exactly … alive anymore." Syaoran bit his lip as he waited for Kurogane's outburst.

"**WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY?!**" Kurogane exploded. "YOU'RE SAYING THE IDIOT MAGE MANAGED TO KILL HIMSELF!? I'M NOT GOING TO ACCEPT THAT!"

Shaking his head quickly, Syaoran backed away. "He's not dead! Not yet, anyway. I'm not really sure … Mokona's talking to Watanuki-kun right now."

Staggering out bed, Kurogane gritted his teeth as every part of his body screamed in rebellion against the movement. "Take me to wherever it is."

"Kurogane-san, I really don't thi-" Syaoran started to say.

"I SAID TAKE ME TO THE DAMN PORK BUN!" Kurogane bellowed. "I'M NOT GOING TO JUST SIT AROUND AND JUST LET HIM …" Kurogane jabbed his finger angrily at the pale mop of blond hair he had just spotted at the far end of the room, comprehensible words escaping him for a moment. "… JUST LET HIM **DIE**!"

Syaoran bowed his head, understanding shining through in his warm brown eyes. He led the way out into the hallway and down two doors, where he knocked on the door and waited for a squeak of acknowledgement before opening it. Kurogane followed determinedly, using the wall for support as he made his way into a room not unlike the one he had shared with Fai (_Fai, who was currently dead, or almost dead, or not really alive, or whatever_) the past two nights.

"Talk," he commanded once he made it into the room and gingerly lowered himself onto a bed, facing the image of the witch's ex-apprentice. He ignored Mokona's frantic exclamations, and it shut up as Watanuki started talking.

"Kurogane-san," Watanuki inclined his head towards the newcomer. "It's not great news, I'm afraid. The phoenix that you saw was Fai's soul, in its physical form."

"That makes no sense," Kurogane replied, his voice tense. "How can a soul have a physical form?"

"It's very, very advanced magic; I don't think anyone has ever consciously been able to do it before." Watanuki smiled slightly as he looked at Kurogane. "He must have really been desperate to protect you."

"He's not interested in anyone besides himself," Kurogane shot back, ignoring the multitude of emotions those words stirred up.

_I'll save him first, and worry about feelings later._

"I'm not here to discuss that," Watanuki didn't let himself be drawn into an argument. "I'm assuming you want to save him?"

"Wait," Kurogane interrupted. "You haven't even told me exactly what happened to him! How can someone be dead but not dead?"

"His magic, his soul is gone," Watanuki explained. "It's in the void, in between life and death, if you will. If he wanders into the wrong place, or follows the wrong person, it'll end badly."

"How do we save him?" Kurogane growled quietly.

"The price for me to do it by myself is too high," Watanuki said regretfully. "Even telling you how you could do it is costly, as the living are not meant to be given a second chance, and definitely not a fourth."

"Nothing is too much to pay," Kurogane responded quickly. "Nothing is too much to pay to save **him**."

Watanuki continued pressing the matter. "Are you sure? You've already saved him forcefully once in Tokyo … another time in Celes … will you do it a third time?"

There was no hesitation in Kurogane's cold voice. "Yes."

"Very well," Watanuki paused for a few moments, a thoughtful expression passing over his face. "The price for me telling you how to save him will be the spell Fai-san cast on your arm. If you agree to this bargain, he will never be able to cast another spell on you to relieve you of your pain. In addition to this, it must be **you** that goes – I doubt he would answer anyone else, anyway."

"Agreed," Kurogane immediately said. "Take the magic away, I don't need it anyway. I'll go, I'll do whatever it takes."

"It's fully possible that Fai-san won't want to be found," Watanuki warned him. "After 24 hours, it'll be almost impossible for him to return to the living. The same applies to you: if you are in the void for longer than a day, you'll be lost in there forever. Do you still want to go?"

"Yes," Kurogane answered, his voice completely emotionless. "How do I get there?"

"You'll need to find a powerful magician," Watanuki told him. "There should be someone in the building with you … someone capable of walking in dreams. He'll be able to send you, as long as I tell him the incantation."

Puzzled, Kurogane looked over at Syaoran. "You're not a dreamwalker, are you?"

Syaoran shook his head, just as confused. "I don't know who …?"

"The dreamwalker would be …" The innkeeper stepped into the room. "… Me."

Kurogane gaped at him for a few seconds before shaking it off.

"I'll ask questions later," Kurogane warned. "But for now, will you help?"

Letting his hair briefly cover his eyes as he thought, Kurogane though he could see in the innkeeper's posture, in the way he held his hands so perfectly still, a past in the military.

When Kurogane began tapping his foot impatiently, the innkeeper finally looked up. "I'll help."

"Good." Kurogane sprang up, hissing as the pain hit him. "You, how does he send me there?"

Watanuki gestured to the innkeeper and they spoke in hushed whispers for a few moments. Kurogane made no move to listen in to their conversation; instead, he just shifted and twitched, unable to keep still, the image of Fai lying there in bed still fresh in mind.

"Let's go then." The innkeeper turned to Kurogane. "I'm going to put you into a deep sleep, deep enough that you should be able to enter the in-between."

"You'll have 15 hours to find him, before Fai-san is lost forever," Watanuki told him. "You yourself have 24 hours until you're trapped, but his time is ticking. I'll collect your payment when you come back. Go!"

"Lie down," the innkeeper instructed. "I'll bring Fai-san's body in here later too, but first I'll get you settled."

"Don't call it his body." Kurogane couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. "He's not dead yet!"

"Of course," the innkeeper murmured gently. "Now, lie down …"

He began chanting in a strange language, the air swirling with a rich gold colored magic. Kurogane felt his eyes grow heavy, and he didn't resist as they closed.

"One last thing," he heard Watanuki say as he slipped away into unconsciousness. "You'll have to call him by his real name …"

* * *

Kurogane opened his eyes again to the suffocating darkness of nothingness. He stood up quickly, pleased to feel that all the bruises and pain he had had in the waking world were gone.

_I have to find him._

_I have to find him!_

_I refuse to let him die._

_Not __**him**__._

Taking a glance around, Kurogane picked a random direction and started walking.

* * *

Hours later, Kurogane was growing increasingly frustrated. His voice was hoarse from calling out 'mage' and 'idiot' almost non-stop, and his nerves were on edge after wandering around in the dark for so long.

_This is hopeless … I could walk around in here forever and never find him._

Kurogane cursed out loud and clenched his fists.

_Is this it then?_

_I just give up?_

_I just leave the idiot in here?_

_I just leave him to die, like he wants me to?_

Angry with the situation, angry with Fai for his refusal to value his life, angry with himself for not being able to find Fai, Kurogane started jogging, then running.

_I won't._

_I won't leave him, even if I have to wander in here forever._

"FAI!" He screamed, his throat throbbing with pain as the sound ripped out, slashing through the darkness.

His brief burst of energy spent, Kurogane slowed and closed his eyes.

'_You'll have to call him by his real name …'_

His eyes snapped open again. _Of course._

"Yuui?" He called out, hesitantly, unused to the name. Kurogane was astonished to all of a sudden hear two voices, almost identical to each other.

_That was the mage! He's with someone else …_

"Yuui!" He shouted. "Damnit Yuui, where the fuck are you!?"

He heard what sounded like a hurried discussion, although he couldn't make out any words. Looking around, he was shocked to what appeared to be an eight year old Fai hurtling towards him.

"Kuro-sama!" He squealed as he launched himself at Kurogane, who automatically raised his arms to catch him. "You came for me!"

"You're always getting into so much trouble!" Kurogane barked at him. "Why can't you just _live_, like the rest of us?"

"Because I had to protect Kuro-sama," Yuui explained as he cuddled into Kurogane's arms, the ninja doing nothing to resist. "If Kuro-chan had died, the world would have stopped and even the stars would have cried, but if I had died, then not much would have been lost. I'm not worth much."

"You're talking nonsense again," Kurogane snorted. "I don't want to hear that kind of logic from you."

_Not now._

_Not __**ever**__._

_You're worth something to the kid._

_To the princess._

_To the talking pork bun._

_To everyone in the worlds who you've brushed paths with._

_You're worth something to me._

Kurogane could feel himself being pulled out of the void, Fai still in his arms. He thought he could faintly see the swirling gold magic that surrounded them as they rose.

"I want to get stronger too, Kuro-chuu," Fai whispered, Kurogane barely catching the words. "I want to get stronger, until I feel nothing at all."

_It doesn't work like that, mage._

_The stronger you get, the more breakable you are._

* * *

Rousing from sleep, Kurogane groaned as all the pain came flooding back, although it was significantly less prominent than before. Stiffly pushing himself up from bed, he glanced first to the bed besides his, glad to see Fai there, then to the doorway, where a shape was lurking.

"Syaoran-kun and Mokona are sleeping," the innkeeper said softly. "And your mage is fine."

"He's not my mage," Kurogane replied. The innkeeper dipped his head to Kurogane in apology.

"All the same, you managed to save him. An impressive feat, if I may say so." The innkeeper smiled at Kurogane. "You must really care for him."

"Tch," Kurogane scoffed. "If he died, I would left consoling several other people, and that's just a pain."

The other man let Kurogane's lie slide, although his disbelief showed plainly on his face. "You should eat. If you would like, I'll have the cook prepare a soup for you."

Studying the man and deciding there were no harmful intentions, Kurogane accepted. "Do you have a name?"

"Who doesn't?" The innkeeper laughed lightly. "My name is Makkuro Juunigastu."

"An interesting name," Kurogane grunted. "And what's your history?"

Makkuro pressed his finger lightly to his lips, and Kurogane once again saw the man that Makkuro once was. Someone powerful, someone lethal … but why would someone like that be hiding out here, running an inn?

"That's a story for another time." Makkuro exited the room, leaving Kurogane to stare in annoyance at the empty doorway.

Getting up, Kurogane slowly walked towards the mirror. Staring at his reflection, he was mildly surprised to find that he only had a few injuries that were bandaged up: his abs were covered by strips of white that wrapped around his lower back as well, while his real arm was also bound slightly above the elbow. He had a variety of bruises and cuts that looked like they had already seen several days, not merely a few hours.

_Magic,_ Kurogane thought. _The innkeeper again?_

"Kuro-pii?" Kurogane turned at the sound of Fai's voice. "Is that you?"

He grunted in response and Fai pushed himself up with a smile.

"Hey, Kuro-pyon, I have something I want to tell you." Kurogane shuffled towards Fai's bedside, hoping that the mage wouldn't notice the pain in his steps.

"Should you really be sitting up?" He had a hard time keeping the worry out of his voice.

"Daddy's too overprotective!" Fai shook his head slowly. "I have something to tell you, Kuro-sama. Something you should know, now that you've paid to save my life not once, not twice, but three times."

_You would think he had learned to stop throwing his life away so casually then._

"The reason I want to die is …"

Despite himself, Kurogane was curious.

_What is it that drives someone like him?_

* * *

**A/N** - The innkeeper's name means blackest December, or pitch-black December (I used a translator for it ... don't eat me if it's not entirely correct D:)

So, I finally got this chapter up! What did you guys think? The rest of the arc should be written fairly smoothly, and the second arc is all falling into place ...

Reviews are love!


	9. Together

Chapter 9 - Together

"The reason I want to die is …"

Kurogane waited, anticipating his next words. _Come on, out with it already._

The silence mounted.

Then Fai giggled.

Kurogane stared at Fai in disbelief. "What was that for?"

Fai shook his head, still chuckling. "Kuro-rin is so cute when he's worried."

"I'm not cute!" Kurogane tapped Fai on the head lightly, afraid of actually hurting the man. "Are you going to tell me or not?"

A shadow flitted over Fai's face. "Do you really want to know?"

There was no hesitation in Kurogane's voice. "Of course."

"Hmmmm …" Fai looked up at Kurogane and laughed again. "I'll tell Kuro-puu if he'll cuddle with me."

Kurogane let out a half-hearted growl, and then settled himself into the bed with Fai. Careful of both their injuries, he put an arm around the mage and pulled him close.

"I want to die because I want to live." The words were whispered into Kurogane's chest, after Fai had snuggled up as closely as possible.

Kurogane frowned. "That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever."

"Au contraire, Kuro-wanwan," Fai's voice was quiet. "It makes a lot of sense."

"No, it doesn't," Kurogane argued. "You can't want to die because you want to live, because then you're just contradicting yourself."

"Or maybe I'm very confused," Fai laughed airily, tilting his head to look at Kurogane. When the taller man glared at him, he dropped his eyes again and started tracing patterns on his stomach instead, lightly skimming over the bandages.

"Are you very confused?" Kurogane asked when Fai didn't say anything else.

"Not at all." The words sounded strained and disgustingly fake.

"Then you're still making absolutely no sense," Kurogane grumbled. "You were never really planning on telling me anything, were you?"

"I did tell you something," Fai muttered, sounding slightly hurt.

"Not much," Kurogane countered, although not too harshly.

Fai mumbled something that Kurogane failed to catch, and then refused to say another word about it, no matter how much Kurogane asked and demanded to know.

At last, Kurogane sighed and gave up. One arm still around Fai's shoulders, the other resting against his own knee, he consented to instead just lie there and enjoy Fai's presence.

_Not that I could admit to doing that, of course._

_But there are a few things in this world that make you realize what you have, and how much it would hurt to lose it all._

_Hopeless battles are one._

_Almost dying is another._

As he watched Fai slip gently into sleep again, he couldn't do it. He couldn't lie to himself anymore.

_It's stupid of me, and it'll probably only weaken me. It's just a painful burden, and it'll only get in the way, but …_

_I don't want Fai to ever leave me._

Kurogane felt a strange prickling in his eyes and was mortified to find that his vision was blurring and cheeks slowly becoming wet. Internally raging, he didn't dare move for fear of waking Fai up.

_God, I'm so foolish. _

_How can I possibly want to spend the rest of my days with someone like him?_

_Someone as fragile, as broken, as confusing as he is …_

Letting out a light groan, Kurogane closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the walls.

His last thought before he fell asleep was that Tomoyo-hime would be _delighted_.

* * *

Waking up, Kurogane felt strangely cold for a moment until he realized that Fai was no longer pressed against him. Standing up and wincing slightly, he noticed that his bandages had been changed. If his bandages had been changed, that meant …

"Hyuu! Kuro-sama is awake!" Fai waltzed in to the room with the appearance of someone that had not almost died not too long ago, carrying a tray laden with various foods.

Kurogane eyed him suspiciously. "Who changed my bindings?"

"Makkuro-san offered to do it, but I insisted on taking charge," the mage grinned cheerfully at him. "I got a great view! Kuro-sama really looks good shirtless!"

Kurogane gritted his teeth and resisted the urge to bury his head in his arms. It wasn't even the fact that Fai had seen him shirtless, as it had happened several times before, it was the fact that he had been asleep while it had happened.

_How have I gotten to the point where I don't even wake up when he's around me anymore?_ Kurogane groaned inwardly.

"Tch," he scoffed out loud. "I'm not some piece of art in a museum for you to ogle."

Fai giggled again, a very girly sound. "Would you be willing to be in my private collection then, Kuro-pi?"

Blushing a deep red, Kurogane gave a strangled response that sounded more like a grunt, and then grabbed the bread from the tray Fai was still holding and stuffed it into his mouth.

Laughing outright now, Fai placed the tray on the small table beside the bed and sat on Kurogane's legs. "Don't choke while you're eating now!"

Sputtering indignantly about how he was perfectly able to eat without supervision, Kurogane tried not to let his pleasure at the thought of being Fai's show.

_This is ridiculous! Does he expect me to just forget about everything that happened earlier?_

Swallowing, he shot Fai a piercing look and attacked a new subject. "You've been different since you've come back from there."

_Happier, almost. More giggly, for certain._

Fai shrugged, an odd little smile dancing across his face. "I had a talk with someone who means a lot to me."

"Your brother?" Kurogane asked, watching as Fai's smile turned sad and his eyes became downcast.

"Yes, I did." Fai looked at him strangely intently as he talked. "It was much too short for my liking, and I learned plenty of things I didn't want to know, but I can't say I'm unhappy about it." He shrugged again.

Tersely aware that was one of the most honest and revealing conversations he had ever had with the mage, Kurogane leaned forward a little bit, wondering if he could actually get Fai to say anything personal without too much prodding. "What did you talk about?"

Fai pressed a finger to his lips, not unlike what Makkuro had done earlier. "It's a secret."

_What did I expect, really? He's not going to reveal all his secrets in one day …_

Kurogane let his head fall back onto his pillow with a sigh. "And I thought we were actually beginning to build a bond."

He peeked at Fai again to find the blond staring at him incredulously. "Did you just try to guilt me into telling you?"

"Absolutely not." Kurogane stared at the ceiling, trying to suppress a smile.

_Ha, you're not the only one with surprises up your sleeve._

He was somewhat unpleasantly surprised when Fai flung himself forward, landing with a heavy thump and knocking the breath out of him.

"… Ow." Kurogane was now face to face with Fai and could feel a blush rising again.

"Kuro-sama said ow! Kuro-sama admitted to being in pain!" Fai cried out, giggling madly again. "You must be in a really good mood today, Kuro-wanwan."

_I'm just glad you're not dead._

But of course, he couldn't say that out loud.

"I'm just pleased that the kid stood his ground so well against the army," he said finally. "It's always tough, fighting against so many men at once."

"Mmmmm, of course Kuro-sensei is happy about all the progress his student has made." Fai rubbed his cheek against Kurogane's chest, making a distinct purring noise. "Our children work very hard, just like Daddy."

"Are you ever going to give up on the stupid nicknames?" Kurogane was rather distracted by the feeling of the silkiness of Fai's hair tickling his neck.

"It's my way of expressing love for Kuro-woof!" Kurogane willed his heartbeat to calm down.

_I will not act like a lovesick fool. I will not act like a lovesick fool. I will not act like a lovesick fool. I will not act like a lovesick fool. I will not act like a lovesick fool._

At that moment, a knock sounded on the door. Fai called out a cheerful "come in!" before Kurogane could protest and the innkeeper walked in, Syaoran close behind with Mokona on his shoulder.

Makkuro smiled endearingly at the two of them and their rather intimate position, while Syaoran and Kurogane both starting blushing furiously. Mokona squealed and hopped over onto the bed, jumping up and down on Fai's back.

"KURO-TIN AND FAI ARE IN LOOOOOOOOOOVE!" Mokona sang, its shrill voice boring into Kurogane's skull.

"We are not!" He swiped at the white pork bun but missed, rather handicapped by Fai's weight on him. "Don't just say things like that!"

"Teehee, don't try to deny it Kuro-puu!" Fai laughed as he pushed himself up and leaned back so that he was no longer on Kurogane. "Kuro-chii just told me he wanted to stay with me forever and ever!"

Kurogane choked on the retort he had ready, shocked by what the mage had just said.

_What is he, some sort of mind reader?_

"Look at how red he is! Kawaii, Daddy is so cute when he's all embarrassed! Mommy's very happy!" Fai laughed again as he poked Kurogane on the cheek.

"That's it!" Kurogane sprang at him, fully intending to knock some sense into the magician, injuries or no injuries. "Stop putting words in my mouth!"

* * *

Kurogane had to admit it was almost nice to be able to chase Fai around again like everything was (as much as it made him wince to say it) _normal_. He dodged around pedestrians, ignoring their surprised glances and startled murmurs, as he moved to draw his sword.

Remembering too late that Souhi was presumably still somewhere in the inn, Kurogane settled instead for shouting out multiple death threats at the back of Fai's furry white coat.

It wasn't until the buildings flashing past suddenly blinked out of existence that Kurogane realized just how far they had come already. Fai had led him all around town and now they were quickly approaching the battleground, although the only sign of a fight that remained was the trampled snow.

Slowing down, Kurogane wondered where all the bodies and the blood had gone. Even if all the bodies and discarded weapons had been burned, the blood wouldn't have just disappeared. They weren't covered up by snow, as footprints and hoof prints were still clearly visible. Looking ahead again, he saw that the idiot had stopped running as well and was now sprawled out a few hundred meters ahead.

Jogging to where Fai lay, Kurogane leaned over him and frowned. "Hey, are you okay?"

When Fai opened one eye and cracked an enormous grin, Kurogane knew he was in trouble. He had only started to back away when Fai got up and threw himself at Kurogane, resulting in Kurogane stumbling backwards and trying desperately to regain his balance, to no avail.

Kurogane growled at Fai wordlessly, but made no move to pry him off.

"Hyuu," Fai said softly, the smile no longer present. "Kuro-pipi has been different since he's woken up too."

Kurogane remained silent, his mind warring with itself about what to say.

_If I say anything, he'll tease me about it forever and I'll never get a moment of peace._

_But still …_

Kurogane thought he was slowly beginning to understand the way Fai worked. Despite what Fai said about wanting to be alone because he was afraid of hurting others, he still reached out, whether consciously or not, seeking for acceptance. Despite how much he struggled to close his heart off and to stay uncaring, he still carried the very human emotion of hope; hope that he could be accepted, loved.

_He was so fragile, in that even the smallest things could shatter him._

At last, Kurogane slowly gave voice to his earlier thoughts. "There are a few things in this world that make you realize what you have, and how much it would hurt to lose it all."

Raising his head, Fai looked at Kurogane with sadness shining in his eyes. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then shook his head and remained silent, resting his head on Kurogane's chest again.

Absentmindedly running his fingers through Fai's hair, Kurogane looked up at the spotless blue sky.

"Does this place remind you of your home?" He asked abruptly, immediately aware of how Fai tensed with the mention of his past.

The silence stretched out for so long that Kurogane assumed he wouldn't be getting an answer.

"I don't really know," Fai's words sounded almost strangled, as if it had cost him a lot to say them. "Both in Valeria and in Celes, I lived in the palace, not amongst the commoners."

An uncomfortable pause stretched between them, as Kurogane fumbled for something to say that wouldn't sound inconsiderate.

"You really have changed," Kurogane managed at last.

"Mmmmm." Fai rolled off Kurogane and lay in the snow beside him instead. "I used to love doing this, you know. There's a forest not far from the village underneath Ruval, and past the forest, there are plains that extend out of sight. I used to slip out whenever Ashura-ou wasn't watching, and I would just run through the forest until I reached the plains, where I would run and run and run, until I got too tired to move and then I would lie down and watch the sky …"

Still careful not to say anything that would mean the withdrawal of this strangely open Fai, Kurogane spent a while thinking before replying. "That much running can't be good for you."

_You've had too much practice with running away, anyway._

"Everything fades away when you run," Fai murmured. "You can leave everything behind, all your problems and all your worries."

"Running away is never a good solution," Kurogane chided gently. "You should know that by now."

"I know that now," Fai agreed listlessly, failing to convince Kurogane. "But you don't know what it's like. In Ruval, if it's not politics, it's war, and as High Mage I was always expected to be at all the meetings and talks. I used to think that if I could ever get away, maybe Ashura and I could have had a peaceful life down in the plains …" Fai's voice trailed off and he turned away from Kurogane.

Kurogane was in too much shock to attempt to pull Fai back towards him.

_Ashura and I … ?_

_Never mind the lack of honorifics … that makes it sound like …_

_No. No way. It can't be!_

_Just think of all the grief that crazy king caused him._

_They can't have been … together?_

**A/N** - Wow, I'm sorry for such a ridiculously long wait for this chapter, especially since it's nothing special D:

Reviews are love!


	10. Nothing

Chapter 10 - Nothing

Kurogane leapt to his feet, letting out what sounded very much like a snarl as he looked for something to punch (_not_ because he was jealous, he was just angry that Ashura had apparently messed Fai up in ways he hadn't known about before).

In fact, he was so angry with Ashura that he completely failed to notice that Fai had run away again until the blond was quite far from him.

"HEY! IDIOT!" He yelled, racing after him. Cursing under his breath, he increased his speed as he noticed Fai getting away.

_He's too damn good at running away for his own good!_ Kurogane was thankful, at least, that there appeared to be nothing but snow for many miles all around. _At least the idiot won't be able to slip away anywhere._

At the same time though, Kurogane knew he would never be able to catch Fai unless he stopped and allowed himself to be caught.

Needless to say, Kurogane was pretty surprised when the mage slowed down not five minutes later.

_Maybe he really is a mind reader …_

Panting slightly, Kurogane finally manage to reach Fai. He grabbed his arm as he arrived, shooting him an angry glare. To his minor annoyance, the other man wasn't even looking at him.

_Too damn good at running …_

"Don't do that again," he spat out once Fai finally glanced at him.

Fai shrugged him off and started walking away again.

Kurogane growled and followed him again. "What's up with you?"

Fai stopped and turned to face him. He studied the other's face for a long moment, those secretive blue eyes boring into Kurogane's honest red ones, before dropping his gaze and staring off into the distance somewhere.

"I want to change, I really do," Fai told him. "But …"

"You idiot," Kurogane growled. "Don't forget that no matter what you do, I'll be judging you on the present – not something that has happened in your past, or anything that you're afraid will happen in the future."

"But that's so _stupid_," Fai said suddenly, the frustration in his voice surprising Kurogane. "Isn't a person's past what creates his present? You can't just cast aside everything that happened because it isn't pretty or it isn't satisfying and content yourself with today, because then sometime in the future the past is going to come back because you _just_ _can't run away_, no matter how hard you try."

Kurogane opened his mouth to interrupt with some dry comment about how Fai had finally come to that realization, but Fai just shot him a warning look and kept on talking. Kurogane shut his mouth again and let the mage continue.

"But don't you _think_, Kurogane," The ninja winced at Fai's use of his full name. "Don't you think that while we were on that journey, I tried? I tried to put it all behind me; I tried to forget what happened in my past, in Celes and in Valeria. But no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I let those smiles that used to be fake seep into my heart so that they became real, I couldn't ignore the fact that Ashura-ou was going to come looking for me. I couldn't ignore my curses, or the tattoo that used to bind my magic, or even anything as simple as the bond between Ashura and me."

"What exactly was this bond?" Kurogane asked, his eyes flat and hard.

_If he says Ashura abused him, I'm going to go back in time so that I can kill that damn king all over again._

"I owe everything to Ashura." Fai seemed to have dropped the honorific for good. "He took me in, gave me a home, accepted me, raised me, and I think, he loved me. Whether or not it was love, he was kinder and more giving than anyone else had ever been, he was the first one that didn't look at me with fearful eyes or disgusted eyes or hateful eyes. He gave me another chance at life, so that I could give Fai, who shouldn't have died, another chance at life too. I was reborn in the castle of Ruval, under Ashura's care."

Kurogane remained silent, unsure what to think and what to do.

"I was reborn, because of Ashura," Fai repeated, his eyes holding so much depth with so many brutal emotions that Kurogane had to force himself not to look away. "And because of what Ashura did for me, I owe him everything. When he taught me how to smile, I made sure to smile for him all the time. When he taught me how to read, to write, I made sure to study extra hard to gain his approval. When he taught me how to cook and which alcohols he liked, I made sure to find time to make something for him once in a while, when he was tired after a long day or a long meeting."

"When … when he taught me …" Fai's voice wavered and broke off. Kurogane was alarmed to see his eyes glimmer and reached for him hesitantly, unsure what to do if he started crying. Fai stepped backwards, letting Kurogane's fingers brush the front of his fluffy white Celes coat (no doubt custom tailored for him on Ashura's orders) uselessly.

"Mage …" Kurogane started to say, and then stopped. He had nothing that he could say that would make Fai feel any better.

Fai continued on, his voice a harsh whisper that still carried easily across the plain white snow. "When he taught me how to love … when Ashura-sama taught me how to love I made sure to love him with all the bits and pieces of my broken and useless heart that weren't already beating for Fai."

"Mage," Kurogane said again, louder now. "You have _got_ to be one of the most f*cked up people I know. Just because he did all of that for you, it doesn't mean that you _had_ to fall in love with him. You don't _have_ to fall in love with anyone. Even if you were 'in love' with him, that doesn't give him the right to just do to you whatever he wants."

Fai shot him another look, one that Kurogane couldn't read. "Stop being so naïve. I didn't just decide to love him. Even I know that love isn't something you can just decide to have, otherwise I would have stopped long ago." His voice drifted off quietly again. "To love is the slowest suicide."

"Then what's your point?" Kurogane snapped, aware that he was being a jerk but angry enough not to care.

"My point, Kurogane," Fai's voice drove into him like shards of glass, nearly as cold as his eyes. "Is that I love Ashura and I'd like to think he loved me back, and even if it was nothing but a fantasy, it's a fantasy that I'd like to hold on to because it's something much more real and much more substantial than anything I've ever felt around you!"

Kurogane felt like the ice residing in Fai's eyes had come out and pierced him, leaving him numb and staggering for breath as he struggled to regain control of his emotions.

Letting anger get the better of him at last, he narrowed his blazing eyes and glared at Fai, his fists clenched. "Who said I ever felt anything around you? Who said I ever cared what you felt about me?"

He was satisfied to see that Fai was visibly shaken, his fine hair falling forwards to obscure his eyes again.

"Well then, Kurogane, I guess you won't have any trouble letting me walk away this time." Lifting his chin up and meeting Kurogane's eyes in an almost uncharacteristic show of defiance, Fai stalked away.

Growling, Kurogane stepped after him automatically before the blond's words actually registered in his mind. He stopped and watched the way the bottom of Fai's coat trailed through the snow, effectively wiping away all his footprints.

Kurogane continued to stare after Fai until if he raised his hand, he could block out Fai's presence with his pinky.

He was shocked when Fai turned around and sprinted back to him, his mind spinning in confusion as he wondered if the mage had some other trick or hurtful thing to say or if he had been just joking and was preparing to give Kurogane what would most likely be the most painful glomp ever experienced, even with the soft snow.

What he had expected however, was for Fai to give him a rough shove in the chest and the order to _run_. Stumbling along beside the cursing mage until he found his rhythm and could keep up a good pace, he barked questions at Fai.

"What's going on?" He demanded, half of him not even expecting an answer.

Fai shook his head. "Something's coming. I don't know what it is, but it's really powerful and has a lot of magic. Enough to take me out easily, especially in this state." He gave a bitter chuckle.

"Enough of the I'm-not-good-for-anything shit!" Kurogane resisted the urge to tackle Fai to the ground and pound him until he acquired some sense.

"Well it's true," Fai muttered darkly. With a frightened look over his shoulder, he picked up the pace. "Come _on_!"

Kurogane was cursing liberally under his breath when he felt his legs being swept out from under him. Bewildered, he twisted around, wondering who had managed to approach them without his notice. He was met with the sight of tendrils of what looked very much like magic wrapped around his ankles.

It pulsed with energy the same way the sorcerers' and Fai's magic did when it was still in a primitive form and not yet shaped by a spell, however, this magic was a shifting, chaotic mess of black and red rather than a strong solid color like the others.

Kurogane flipped onto his back and reached for his sword, swearing loudly when he remembered that he had left Souhi back in the inn in his haste to chase after Fai. Voice tense, he called for Fai. "Mage!"

Fai was at his side within seconds. His eyes seemed to be strangely blank and as his indigo magic started appearing around the threads of the chaos holding onto Kurogane, he did not look at the other man.

"Mage …" Kurogane said again, stiffening as a sudden twinge of pain wracked his body. He watched Fai directing his magic, then frowning as it appeared to have no effect. "Tell me what's going on!"

"My magic isn't working," Fai explained tersely, still concentrated on the spells he was casting. "Whoever this is, he's strong enough that I have pretty much no effect on him, especially since I have so little magic right now."

"What can I do?" Kurogane demanded. Fai just shook his head impatiently and stared worryingly at Kurogane's legs.

"There's nothing I can do," he admitted at last. "Besides, I think I'm out of time." Kurogane followed his gaze, already suspecting what he would see.

It was as if the magic had torn a rift in the air, proliferating quickly in front of them until it reached roughly the size of Kurogane. A man stepped through, clothed in fairly simple scarlet robes. The very air around him seemed to scream with wrongness, and when Kurogane's eyes met him, he was shocked to see that they were a red very much like his own.

_A red that speaks of the joy of watching the blood of your enemies flow._

Almost subconsciously, Kurogane looked away, breaking eye contact.

"What are you two doing here?" The man's voice was quiet and almost oscitant. "Why would two men be all the way out here?"

"We went for a walk," Fai answered stiffly, reaching out and grasping Kurogane's wrist in warning. _Don't say anything stupid._

"Did you now?" The stranger mused. "I hope you enjoyed your walk then. Pardon me for asking, but are you two …" He paused and smiled endearingly at them. Kurogane thought he looked like he was assessing which one he would rather torture first. "Are you two together?"

Kurogane promptly snatched his arm out of Fai's grasp. "Absolutely not!"

"We are definitely not together," Fai agreed quickly, shuffling back a few steps.

The stranger raised an eyebrow, although his tone remained docile. "Lover's spat?"

"No," they both said firmly at the same time, avoiding eye contact with each other.

"He is nothing to me," Fai added. Kurogane glanced over at him, but Fai was looking away. Clenching his teeth, Kurogane stared in the opposite direction.

"And he is less than nothing to me," he hissed, hoping in a twisted way that it had caused the other pain.

"In that case," the stranger smiled again. "Would you, mage, please stop trying to free him? I can feel your magic working away even now. You wouldn't want to strain yourself, would you?"

Fai remained silent for a moment, although he eventually nodded his head. Kurogane narrowed his eyes in disgust. Although he supposed he shouldn't have expected anything else, he was still hit by a sense of betrayal.

_We have already been through so much together. How can we turn our backs on each other like this?_

Fai was talking again, his voice equally innocent sounding. "May I ask who you are?"

The man laughed, a harsh, ugly sound that fled over the snow. He swept his arm in front of him in a cruel, mocking bow. "My name is Masshiro Mamoru, King of Alancia!"

* * *

**A/N **- Sorry for the looong wait, but the next chapter should be up fairly quickly. Things are finally starting to move and it's all coming to a close ...

10th CHAPTER! Just wanted to throw out a huuuge thank you to all the fans and reviewers; you've helped to encourage me and it's great to know that my writing isn't so horrible that no one wants to read it :D


	11. Last Words

Chapter 11 - Last Words

Kurogane stiffened. This stranger was the king? "Why are you out here all alone then?"

The king shrugged nonchalantly, as if he usually strolled around through portals, trapping innocent travelers. "I've come to see if I've finally met my match, I suppose."

Kurogane was beginning to think he knew where this was going. "You mean … you came out here to search for the one your men failed to secure?"

The king laughed again and clapped his hands together. "You're a clever one, aren't you? You're close, but not quite right." He squatted down and peered at Kurogane curiously, as if he was studying some fascinating specimen. "You see, I didn't come here to search for the mage. I came here to destroy him, or die trying."

"You won't find him," Kurogane lied, holding his gaze. _Lustful red eyes, that have seen blood spilt and wish only for more._ "He's not here anymore."

"Don't lie to me," the king snapped, his sudden change in demeanor shocking Kurogane. Fai, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, took a small step forward. "I already know that the one I'm looking for is the mage that you claimed was less than nothing to you mere moments ago."

"No he isn't," Kurogane argued desperately. "That idiot barely has any magic." _Any magic left, anyway._

"I said don't lie to me!" The scream ripped through the air. His black hair swept into his red eyes, now raving mad and chilling in their insanity. He got up and paced, muscles in his arms working furiously as he clenched and unclenched his fists. "I already _know_, because I sense that he has no magic, yet his magic was clearly working against mine mere moments ago. If that is how much "a little bit" of his magic is, then he is most definitely the one I'm looking for."

Kurogane scrambled to his feet as the magic binding him disappeared. The mad king pointed at Fai, who was standing as if frozen, and whispered, suddenly calm again. "You are the one who will die."

Kurogane threw himself forward, ready to tackle the lunatic with his bare hands, ready to punch and kick and do whatever it took to keep him off Fai. _No matter what I say … I couldn't live with myself if I stood by and did nothing._ However, he was thrown aside by a burst of magic; astounded, he realized that it was Fai who had attacked him and bound him this time.

"Stay out of this," the blonde mage growled, eyes deadly. "This is for me to deal with."

Kurogane was smart enough to realize that the more he fought, the more magic Fai used up to deal with him. He scowled fiercely but didn't attempt to escape.

Fai turned to the Alancian king. "Masshiro-ou, I came to your land without any wishes of harm. But if you are to attempt to kill me, then I won't just stand aside and take it." Kurogane could have sworn his eyes flickered over to where he lay. "But you must know that he spoke the truth when saying I have very little magic left, for I have almost none. I will insist on an honorable duel then: no magic. We will rely on our wits and fight with our weapons."

Kurogane furrowed his brows. _What is Fai up to? He has no weapons on him, and he's never been overly good at close-range combat._

He felt a little sick with apprehension with Masshiro pulled out a long katana, not unlike the ones that Kurogane favoured. _I hope the idiot has some trick up his sleeve._

Masshiro pointed the blade directly at Fai. It was long enough that the tip lightly touched the front of his coat, although it did not pierce it. "Very well then, I accept your proposal. Either way, you will die. Draw your weapon and prepare to duel!"

Fai smiled faintly. "I have no weapons but my wit, your majesty. However, if you permit it, I'd like to take off my coat. You see, it's rather precious to me, having been made for me by my own king."

Kurogane felt as if he had been slapped.

Masshiro gestured impatiently at Fai to be on with it. Fai shed his coat and trotted quickly over to Kurogane, dropping it directly beside his face. Kurogane, still imprisoned, could smell the faint hint of Fai that came from it.

They once again took up their positions, Masshiro's sword pointed at Fai's shirt instead. "Ready?" The king demanded. Fai beamed and nodded.

"Then let us fight!" Masshiro sprang forward, obviously expecting to impale Fai right then and there without any more trouble. Fai however, had bent backwards so that his body resembled a bridge, showing off his flexibility. He kicked his legs upwards, striking the king's hands and then balancing in a handstand for a moment before flipping to his feet again. Masshiro fumbled with his sword but didn't drop it, glaring instead at Fai.

Fai shrugged and smiled. Skipping around, he led Masshiro in a merry dance over several meters, always close enough for Kurogane to see their movements and far enough that he wasn't in the way.

Suddenly though, just as Fai had turned around to flee yet again, Masshiro sliced outwards and caught Fai across his right shoulder blade. Letting out a small yelp, Fai made a dreadful mistake: he spun around to face his opponent. Now, Masshiro lunged for his throat with a hand and once again pointed his sword at Fai's breast. Held fast by Masshiro's left hand that was holding his throat, Fai could do no more than feebly struggle.

Kurogane sprang up as the magical bindings on him were released all of a sudden yet again. Taking it as a plea for help, he raced towards the duo, several meters away.

_It's too far,_ Kurogane thought despairingly. _As soon as he sees me coming, he won't hesitate to plunge that sword through his heart. I'll be too late._

Coming up behind Masshiro, Kurogane didn't have the best view for what happened next. He heard a loud crack sound in the air and the heart wrenching sound of blood gushing out. He rushed forward, rage crashing into his vision as he prepared to tear Masshiro apart limb from limb, even if the other had a sword.

When he finally arrived though, he saw Fai holding the back of Masshiro's neck with his left hand, supporting him. Although the blond had a serious gash on his left side, and his right shoulder was still seeping blood, he was evidently not dead. The king's right arm – his sword arm – had been broken, which must have been the source of the cracking noise.

When Fai looked up at him, Kurogane was startled to see his eyes a gleaming yellow color, when they had been blue for nearly the entire fight so far. Fai said nothing but looked instead at Masshiro's chest.

His right hand was buried in it, covered in blood.

Reeling from the sight, Kurogane forced himself to calm down. He was about to say something when the king opened his mouth, emitting a disgusting gurgling sound.

"You're a lot like me, you know," he rasped out, opening his eyes to look at Kurogane. _Red eyes, so red. They match the color of his blood perfectly._ "All I ever wanted to do was protect … I had to get stronger … always stronger … make sure I was the strongest … so I could protect who I loved most. So that they would choose me … chose to stay … I always failed though … everyone … left … they … all died."

Kurogane and Fai both watched silently as the king closed his eyes again, seemingly gathering his strength. "My only son died … then my wife was found sleeping with my brother." The king gave a bitter laugh, choking pathetically on his own blood. "I chained her, you know. That's when they first said … when they first said I was mad. That I had lost it. But all … I ever wanted … was to be the strongest so that … they wouldn't leave. So I could protect them … give them a happy life …"

Kurogane felt sick. This dying man, as he lay here drenched in his own blood, was voicing out loud all of the thoughts that Kurogane himself had had, the morals and ideals that Kurogane lived by.

"Don't make my mistakes … if you love them, tell them …" He laughed again. "I can read your mind, you know … it's one of the rarest and hardest forms of magick … I taught myself so that … no one could plot around me … so if you love them …" The king started coughing, apparently wanting to say more but unable to get it out. The fever and drive in his eyes slowly dimmed and the red eyes drooped shut, never to open again.

Kurogane paced around, feeling confused and desperate to get away from the man. He heard a nasty sound as Fai withdrew his hand, and turned in time to see Fai wiping his long vampire claws on the snow, staining fresh white with tainted red. He looked away again.

After a pause, Fai said at last, "The least we can do is give him a proper burial." When Kurogane turned around and nodded, Fai gestured and wrote several words above the body, which then slowly sank down into the ground as if there was nothing below it. He also erected a sort of tombstone, black against the surrounding snow.

"Mage …" Kurogane searched for the words that he wanted.

"You know, at the end, his magic wasn't corrupted. The black demonic chaos had vanished, leaving behind a burning red." Fai got up and glanced at Kurogane, his face emotionless. "Not unlike your eyes."

Kurogane took a step forward. "Mage …"

They stared at each other, a meter separating the two. It was Kurogane who first stepped forward, knowing that as he did, he was crossing a line where there was no going back, a line that he had never even tried to approach before.

"If you love someone …" he whispered, cupping Fai's face in his rough hand. "If you love someone, tell them."

He leaned in and kissed Fai.

* * *

**A/N** - Ah, finally! This chapter was actually ready to be posted two days ago but I kept on forgetting -bows head in shame- It's long, long overdue. After this one, there's one more chapter in this arc. I think I can get the next chapter up before mid-September, but it's iffy because my beta is currently on vacation and I don't want to bother her ^^'

If anyone is curious about what I've been doing this entire summer, keep your eye out for a new AU fic written by me - it'll be out in September.

Thanks to all my readers who put up with my random updating - love you all! Reviews, please? :3


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